Dear my people,
I think the world is coming to an end. Honestly, I really think the end is upon us. A lot of unAfrican and unrevolutionary things have been taking place.
LETTER TO MY PEOPLE BY DOCTOR STOP IT
If it had been happening in South Africa, I would not have been alarmed because quite a lot of Western evils with no link to our heroic revolution are known to take place with frightening and increasing regularity in that country.
Things such as same-sex relationships, whatever that is supposed to mean, including trying to make a whole president, or is it a hall president, account for public funds such as building the Nkandla Village palace.
It’s like people dreaming that the only family in Zimbabwe — The First Family — should be asked to produce receipts for our palace with a blue roof and explain where the money to build it came from.
The youth and women of the revolutionary party would not allow such irresponsible behaviour.
Or maybe, members of the opposition being misled by their girlfriends and boyfriends to heckle the Supreme Leader in Parliament like that naughty boy, Malema did to Zuma in their Parliament.
Of course they tried it once or twice, or is it wants or twize? But our boys and girls in dark glasses made it very clear to those MDC nobodies that they were gambling with the only life that they have by offending the One and Only Supreme Leader.
Sorry, I digress. I hope nobody will start silly rumours that my regular health visits in those very expensive overseas medical facilities are making me digress from my speeches regularly.
This can’t be true.
I may have to seek medical attention in a very expensive medical facility after I learnt that the new Tanzania president, John Pombe Magufuli had ordered the cancellation of this year’s independence celebrations in a bid to stop unnecessary public expenditure.
Maybe it is an untrue statement generated by Westerners to sully the image of iconic African leaders. It doesn’t make sense!
Instead, the Tanzanians will commemorate independence by cleaning up dirty areas in order to, of all things, fight cholera which is killing many Tanzanians.
Is there a First Lady in that country? If there is, then it’s time I spoke to her.
“Tanzanians will mark the day (independence) cleaning their localities in an effort to fight the deadly cholera pandemic,” read a statement from State House.
“This is not acceptable. We cannot go on to celebrate 54 years of independence while people are dying of cholera,” the alleged statement is reported to have said.
I will start with the statement. If it is true that is how it was written, then I will urge the authors to go back to school.
I know I majored in Chinese even though I cannot speak it. kkkkkkkkkkk! [Laughing] I am joking. Or is it jockeying?
If they have too much cholera in their country, then it can only be an epidemic. A pandemic would be a global outbreak.
If they don’t know the difference between a pandemic and an epidemic, then it’s not surprising that they are cancelling independence celebrations.
Can you imagine the national trauma if someone in Zimbabwe came up with a silly suggestion to cancel independence celebrations.
No music gala or Alick Macheso to sing for the people. No long speeches from Mdhara. Ah! No speeches for provincial ministers to read. No inspecting the guard of honour?
Very unAfrican and unrevolutionary behaviour, especially coming from Tanzania, the cradle of our revolution.
My children, you can send your views on such unAfrican behaviour of cancelling independence celebrations to your mother’s email on: firstname.lastname@example.org.
You never know, maybe they have their own equivalent to Gamatox which has been giving them wrong advice. I hear their ruling party split in the manner that Joice is trying to split our party.
Maybe she has been working with the Gamatox elements in Tanzania.
Mdhara and myself were shocked to hear that they have even banned foreign travel for top government officials! They are now supposed to travel to rural areas and conduct unimportant business such as consulting ordinary people to find out their problems!
I hope the Tanzanians won’t start reducing foreign presidential trips.
What message would that send to the rest of Africa?
Okay. I know we have overshot the budget for foreign travel, but the mega deals being negotiated will compensate for that.
Mugoti unopihwa anyerere [favours are given to the quiet comrade]
The journalists were at it again last week. Mistaking my diplomacy while with the lizard as a sign of endorsement.
Of course, I then made myself clear, well, sort of, when I mentioned in Murewa that those who will be rewarded are the quiet ones. Again, they went into overdrive and took that as endorsement for Cde Sekeramayi.
I will end up withdrawing my rice donations if they continue failing to interpret my statements.
Munhuwese kuna Amai!
MaJournalists kuna Amai!
Dr Amai Stopit
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