Now Zanu PF has serious opposition in Joice’s ZPF courtesy of me

Obituaries
Hello my subjects,

Hello my subjects,

Dr Stop It

Christopher Mutsvangwa
Christopher Mutsvangwa
  Is it not time somebody declared me as your queen or something higher than my current status?

This country needs a queen. It is time I was elevated to a more superior role as I cannot be called “lady” like your ordinary women.

I will have a word with Mudhara over that. But if he does not respond positively, the women’s league will implement the idea. Remember we once warned the Supreme Leader that if he did not baby-dump Joice, we would baby-dump her ourselves.

I know there is a lot of gossip out there among you common and useless people that my choice of words like “baby-dumping” were not suitable for a person of my stature, but I don’t care!

Sorry, I digress. It must be all that treatment which makes my mind wander, or is it wonder?

So it follows that if I am declared your queen, then Mudhara would also have to add another title to his name. King Bob or King Robby. That sounds very decent and very English.

Of course, you know that given a choice, we prefer the English way of life. Do you seriously think we prefer the Chinese way of life ahead of the English? Of course not, they are a second option after our spat with the Brits. Oh, how I miss shopping at Harrods in London.

As I write this letter to you, I am very excited. Excited because of what happened on Friday.

I know a lot of nobodies have been gossiping behind my back, saying I and the rest of the Gushungo 40 had been barred from holding rallies where the main item on the agenda would be to denigrate all the other useless politicians in Zanu.

Some of you say we are on a crusade to destroy Zanu PF from within. Heh heh musoro bhangu has said he will destroy Zanu from inside. Heh heh gays and prostitutes.

Kwaaaaaaa! I will not dignify that with an answer.

Bindura

Friday was a very good day for G40. After ensuring that an educational project of family friends was endorsed, among other things, all roads led to Chipadze Stadium. And the old man did not disappoint.

He spoke about the liberation struggle and the war veterans, Joice Mujuru and issues pertaining to food shortages. He essentially tackled issues which I have always tackled at all my famous rallies around the country.

You could in a way say it was me speaking through Mudhara. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

Actually, that was the beginning of such rallies. After I successfully created a strong opposition party, ZPF, by chasing Joice from Zanu, I and Mudhara will now go around the country campaigning for Zanu.

You have to give it to Joice and her party, they are holding constituency meetings around the country and that has scared Mudhara big time.

Too Quiet

While we are running around the country suspending and expelling people, I have noticed that other than the war veterans, people are too quiet. They are just taking what is being thrown at them quietly without any opposition.

I find that frustrating and annoying. It’s like they are waiting to revenge in future, maybe in 2018.

Then you have people like Ray Kaukonde, that one who refused to stand up for me in Marondera, he is too quiet, what is he up to?

Then you have the Matabeleland provinces, ever since I insulted their men, I get the impression that they are just watching and waiting.

Well, at least I have my deputy who is from that part of the country. She can be useful when I want to kick out problem people in the women’s league.

 Or if there is a war veterans meeting involving Mutsvangwa, Jabulani Sibanda and Angeline Masuku, she can be trusted to cause a storm.

It is said before the Unity Accord, she had long left Zapu and joined Mudhara.

Then there is Mboko who can also be trusted. Of course, there was that unfortunate gaffe where he said it did not follow that the next leader of this country would be a Karanga.

I think people just misunderstood him or deliberately twisted what he said to suit their agenda.

I also think that the fact that after his statement we were dancing to the song MuZezuru Unconquerable was purely coincidental.

I have refused to believe fairy tales from Dumiso that after the failure of Zipa in Mozambique, Mboko did not go back to Zambia with his Zipra comrades and remained in Mozambique with Zanla forces. That Dabengwa guy is trying to imply that Mboko had joined Zanu. Kkkkkkk! Ah yas!

Munhuwese kuna Amai! Unconquerable! Gushungo 40 Woye! Umasalu wezwelonke! Pasi nemhandu! Your Mother Dr Amai Ph. D (Fake) Feedback: [email protected]