Two stories caught my attention this week. One is a court story where one Patricia Musekiwa sought a protection order against her husband Shepherd, who has been abusing her for “lying to him that she was a virgin” before they got married. When he discovered that she had lost her virginity prior to the union, he turned against her. They now have children together, but he cannot bring himself to forgive her and move on. She produced a whip in court as the latest weapon he used to discipline her for that lie. What I am not sure about is whether Shepherd thinks the beatings will eventually restore the virginity or undo whatever happened before he came into the picture. Only Patricia knows the circumstances leading to the loss of what Shepherd values so much. His mind is centred on just that, not any other positive attributes that she has.
BY CONELIA MABASA
We are in a cruel world where women are pushed to the brink and they end up abusing themselves to impress men. Society’s demands and expectations push women to lose confidence in themselves and some end up feeling they need men to qualify them for certain roles and general conduct. Women are suffering cancers because they buy herbal soaps, tablets and gels to tighten their vaginas and grow hips for the pleasure of men. There is much more to life companionship than virginity. I am thankful to magistrate Barbara Mateko for granting the protection order, but I wish these two could go for counselling so they learn to trust, love each other again and move on.
The second story is the split of the Family of God church led by Andrew Wutawunashe. A splinter church — Family Covenant Church (FCC) — has been formed by members who are disgruntled by the leader’s decision to divorce his wife Rutendo to be with a Botswana-based church member Masego Makhao. The splinter group felt betrayed by the man of God who confesses to have had marital problems for 10 years. If he could not hold together his own marriage, how could he be expected to counsel congregants when his own marriages hit troubled waters? They have lost the trust.
Marriage is a creation of God. He is the one who noticed Adam’s loneliness in the garden of Eden and made a companion suitable for him before he gave an order; “be fruitful and multiply”. Genesis 2 v 18-24 reads; The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’. . . . So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh [NIV]. One flesh must live in harmony and love not to be fighting or sending each other packing for God hates divorce. His word says in Malachi 2 v 16: The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful [NIV].
A marriage union is supposed to be sacred and holy and its fruits (children) belong to God, we are only stewards. Let us be positive-minded, knowing that Jesus said forgive seventy times seven and: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. [Matthew 7v1 NIV] His mercies endure forever.
l Feedback: cmabasa@standard .co.zw