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A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair.
He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical “dihydrogen monoxide.”
And for plenty of good reasons, since:
1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. 43 said yes, 6 were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was water.
The title of his prize winning project was, “How gullible are we?”
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Medical humour
A man come into the Emergency Room yelling, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!” The ER physician grabs his stuff, rushes out to the cab, lifts the lady’s dress, and just finishes jerking off her underwear when he suddenly discovers that there are several cabs lined up, and it’s obvious that he’s in the wrong one.
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A nurse at the beginning of the shift places her stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s chest wall. “Big breaths,” instructed the nurse. “Yes, they used to be,” remorsed the patient.
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A doctor was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. He placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, “Cover your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line perfectly. “Now your left.” Again, a flawless read.
“Now both,” he requested. There was silence. The patient couldn’t even read the large E on the top line.
The doc turned and discovered that he had done exactly what he had suspected; the patient was standing there with both his eyes covered!
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Lady to her maid: “I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.”
Maid: “I don’t believe it! You are just saying that to make me jealous!”
Why Are Americans Jobless
John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m.While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN PHILIPPINES) .
He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE INVIETNAM).
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA), then he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today.
After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA), he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer (MADE IN MALAYSIA), John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals (MADE IN ZIMBABWE) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN SOUTH AFRICA) and turned on his TV (MADE IN KOREA), and then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA.AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM HIS PRESIDENT (MADE IN KENYA
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