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There were two ministers who met each Sunday morning riding to their particular church. They both enjoyed riding the bikes and talking. Then one Sunday one of the ministers was walking. “What happened to your bike?”
“Can you believe that someone in my congregation stole it?”
“NO!” then an idea struck him, “You want to know how to get your bike back?”
“Yeah.”
“Next Sunday give
a fire and brimstone sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you get to the part about Thout shall not steal, just look out into the congregation and see who looks guilty.”
Well the next Sunday the minister comes riding up on his bike.
“Hey I see my suggestion worked.”
“Well sort of, I was going along real good on the Ten Commandments and when I got to the part about adultery I remembered where I left the bike.”
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A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley Davidson Motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage. “Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?”
The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So, how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic. . . “Try doing it with the engine running. . .”
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A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: “I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.”
Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: “I’ve circled the block for 20 years, and if I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. . . Lead us not into temptation.”
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A chemistry instructor wanted to teach his ninth grade class about the evils of liquor, so he created an experiment to make the point. Producing two glasses and two small worms, he first poured a small amount of water into one of the glasses. Putting in the first worm, he asked the class to observe it carefully. Of course, the worm swam about happily — or as happy as a worm can be. Then he took the second glass, poured in a small amount of whiskey and dropped in the remaining worm. This worm writhed around painfully and sank to the bottom of the glass dead.
“Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?”, the teacher asked.
One kid had the answer right away, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”
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