Conquering Life’s darkest moments
George W Nyabadza
AS you read last week’s article I began experiencing the most difficult challenge of my life. The foundations on which I have b
uilt my life were shattered in the most brutal way any person alive could imagine or wish on anyone.
Last Friday I was ruthlessly thrust into the darkest vortex of life. At this stage the gory details of what I am going through are not relevant; rather what are of great importance are the life (leadership) lessons to be drawn from this experience. To be very frank, at the present moment my whole perspective to life is blurred at the soul level by deep pain and anguish at the massive betrayal I have suffered from the one I had my full trust and commitment in.
Face the facts
As I process the events of the past months leading to the shattering discovery of betrayal I have had to be honest with myself and my ability to deliver effectively in front of my clients. On Friday last week, the day that I discovered the great betrayal, I had to cancel the last session of an executive development programme, a hard-won contract for Ford executives in Port Elizabeth.
This week I have had to cancel a strategy facilitation seminar with a large ZSE group that really needed it at this critical juncture of their corporate life. The reality of it all is that even motivational speakers and leadership development consultants have their lows. I am in one right now. The key lesson in all this, one that helps you retain your sanity, is to face the facts.
Facts are facts and despite the desire of our tortured minds to hide away from them they will never change. I have had to face the fact that I have been betrayed not just last week but over a period of a year. Lesson number one is simply: Avoid Denial, Face the Facts.
I am a highly spiritual person. Over the past six months as my spiritual mentor and advisor and I battled for answers to the incomprehensible situation in this area of my life, we went through focused periods of deep inner spiritual healing and strengthening. During that time of course I did not fully understand the inner preparation that the Spirit of the Creator was taking me through, preparation for this dark season of testing and trial.
Now understanding had dawned, deep down inside me I have such peace and joy that the dark secrets of betrayal have been exposed. My soul is totally vexed, in anguish and distress but deep down I am at peace and can truly say IT IS WELL.
Every person needs to cultivate deep inner spiritual strength and power to face the storms of life. Lesson number two therefore is simply to work on becoming a spirit being as opposed to being purely soulish.
Choice and the human will
It is easy to blame ourselves when trouble befalls us. During the past year I have agonised over what I perceived to be my inabilities to love fully and build powerful relationships. In the last six months of spiritual counselling I have learned to accept my strengths and also what others perceive as weaknesses have actually been in reality strengths.
I realised that I had made the classic error of judging myself on others’ standards. Ultimately the betrayal I have experienced has not been my fault. Every human being has free will and the ability to choose life or death.
My life partner chose death and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Lesson number three is simply do all that you can but don’t blame yourself for other people’s choices and exercise of human will.
l South African-based George W Nyabadza is the chief executive officer of Achievement Success Dynamics International. For more information on leadership development programmes please visit our website www.achievement-success.com or e-mail George on firstname.lastname@example.org