Marriage not the ultimate achievement

Columnists
The story about Muchinda Tarwireyi (41) of Chiweshe and his harem of 14 wives and 45 children in a recent issue of The Standard has stirred my interest in more ways than one.

He argues that he has stopped taking more wives because he wants to stick to what he can afford, but I feel this is coming a little late because  his wives are not only sharing him but the houses too.

Two wives and their children share one hut that has to serve  as bedroom and kitchen for the parents and their children, regardless of the number of heads.

I imagine they keep their belongings in bags to maximise on the limited space available.

There is not much space in that setting, which makes it easy for infectious diseases to spread. That set-up also creates a  fertile environment for incest (makunakuna).

There is only one Blair toilet for such a large  family. I imagine every morning a long queue  forms outside as they take turns to relieve themselves, unless the little ones resort to the bush while other members of the family use neighbours’ facilities.

Under these conditions, this household might spark a cholera outbreak during the rainy season.

Tarwireyi’s  wives claim he is a good man and an able provider for their everyday needs.

But is this how they really feel about their husband? Here is a husband whose Christian beliefs do not allow them to use contraceptives.  Does that not reduce them to baby-making machines?

When he says his target is 100 children, does he feel anything for the women who bear the children or is he just interested in the statistics? That his epitaph should read “Here lies a man who sired 100 children.”

This is what happens when women are not empowered through education so that they can stand up for themselves and determine their own fate.

I wonder if these women have any voice at all in themarriage. They are just records; numbers in a register and their children are likely to turn out just like their mothers because their educational future is not guaranteed when there are so many of them, and more on the way.

It is time women learnt that marriage is not the ultimate achievement. One can raise children as a single mother and still be happy.

Parents must teach their daughters to prioritise an education, to obtain a qualification first before they enslave themselves through marriage. There is more to life.

CM, Harare.