Inspiration: Are you comfortable in your own skin?

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So many people struggle with feeling comfortable in their own skin yet the longest relationship that we will ever have is the one with ourselves

As we enter the second quarter of the year that is not so new anymore, how have we grown to feel about ourselves in the last few months? So many people struggle with feeling comfortable in their own skin yet the longest relationship that we will ever have is the one with ourselves.

Cynthia Hakutangwi

The battle within us Most of us struggle to feel confident in who we are. Whether our points of vulnerability are physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual, we all have areas where we feel less than adequate. When we focus on these insecurities, our self-confidence wanes and we fail to live up to our fullest potential. Out of embarrassment, we shrink back into the shadows, hoping no one notices. Sometimes we compensate for our insecurities by overplaying our strengths. True and lasting self-confidence grows naturally when you become comfortable in your own skin. This is not to say that self-worth is rooted only in your appearance. Being comfortable in your skin includes being satisfied with your body image, your personality, your skills and abilities, your past, and even your limitations. Do you feel uncomfortable whenever you walk into a room? Do you tend to hang back, stay quiet, and try not to put yourself out there? You have to realise that you do have a lot to offer, and you have to start putting yourself out there if you want to see results. So what can you do to begin to feel comfortable in your own skin?

Changing your perspective If you want to feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have to start thinking about the best thing that can happen to you instead of always expecting the worst. Any time you catch yourself thinking negatively, replace your negative thoughts with at least two or three positive ones and expect good things to happen to you. Accepting who you are does not mean that you have to give up on improving yourself. If there is an aspect of your life that you would like to change, then set goals for yourself to help you get there. You can work for change while still accepting where you are in the moment. Compliment yourself and develop your confidence You may suddenly feel great about yourself when someone tells you that you look amazing, or when a friend compliments an aspect of your personality. But at the end of the day, your self-worth shouldn’t depend on what other people say about you, whether it’s good or bad. You should be able to accept compliments from others graciously and genuinely believe them, but you should also get used to complimenting yourself. Confidence comes from within, and developing your confidence means feeling good about who you are, where you are, and what you have to bring to the table.

Embrace yourself and your unique qualities If you don’t love yourself, then it won’t matter how many other people do. Give yourself enough “me time” to learn to really love the person you are and to do the things that matter to you. If you’re feeling really overwhelmed by the world, give yourself moments of solitude. Start by getting to really know yourself; what you like doing, what makes you feel happy, and what sets you apart from other people. A big part of embracing who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin is being around people who support you and make you feel good about yourself. Avoid those toxic relationships that always bring you down. Work on hanging out with the people who compliment you, care about how you feel, and treat you with care and love.

Take care of your body Make sure to get adequate sleep, eat well, exercise and pay attention to personal hygiene. You may not feel comfortable in your own skin because you’re always feeling tired or unhappy with the way you feel. Pampering yourself will make you feel happier to be who you are, and happier about sharing that with the world. Taking care of your body doesn’t mean putting on makeup and wearing beautiful clothes, it just means giving your body the time and effort it deserves. You don’t need to have a six-pack or to be in top shape to put some time into exercise each week. Working out for just half an hour a day will improve your mood, keep your heart strong, and make you feel better about the way you look and feel. If you find it hard to motivate yourself to work out on your own, you can join a team sport. Look confident to feel confident People who aren’t comfortable in their own skin walk in to a room like they don’t belong there and tend to keep a low profile. The next time you walk into a room, keep your head high, smile, and sit in a chair like it’s your favourite comfortable chair at home. If you project confidence in a new situation, you’ll be much more likely to feel it. You can show confidence in your body language by holding your head high, standing or sitting tall with good posture, keeping your shoulders back and your chest out, avoiding fidgeting or tapping and remaining open by not crossing your arms across your chest.

Keep a gratitude journal to help you keep track of things and people for which you are grateful. We should always remember that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” by our Creator. We have been created in a way that perfectly suits us to the unique purposes for which God put us on this earth. The most important step towards celebrating who you are is getting to know the One who created you. Whatever your body frame, remember that it fits your function. Your personality suits your purpose. Your skills and abilities are uniquely coded. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are beautiful and unique.

l Cynthia Hakutangwi is a communications and personal development consultant, life coach, author, and strategist. She is the managing consultant of Wholeness Incorporated. Her published book titles include, The Whole You – Vital Keys for Balanced Living and Intelligent Conversations: A Mindset Shift towards a Developed Africa. She is co-author of Success Within Reach. E-mail: [email protected]. Facebook: Wholeness Incorporated. Website: www.wholenessinc.com