My People, I am sure most people in the opposition are still reeling from the after effects of the rather unexpected victory of Donald Trump in the race for the United States presidency.
letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT
It appears nobody gave The Donald a chance, including the gullible opposition parties fronted by Mbiti and Moregirls Tsvangson.
As for Joice, I know she probably had no idea that there were elections taking place in the US where I travel annually for shopping.
You see, Joice has never been an astute politician. She has always benefitted from her powerful husband.
Can you imagine she was in the first Cabinet of 1980 because of her powerful husband who was apparently manipulating and probably threatening Mudhara?
I have no fondness for Ngwena but history will record that he had won the elections to replace Muzenda but Joice and her powerful husband arm-twisted the Bobster to reverse the election results and appoint Joice as the vice-president.
But sorry, I digress. I must stop this habit of digressing from my line of thought. It might lend credence to some malicious rumours that Viceroy may be affecting me.
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Anyway, back to my subject, the ruining revolutionary party as led by Africa’s only Icon had long positioned itself well by warning the American establishment against rigging the elections in favour of Hillary Clinton.
So it is only natural to expect the sanctions that have been slapped on Me and the Bobster should be lifted.
Maybe if we invite The Donald for a State visit, it would kind of thaw relations between the two countries and the two leaders’ names have a very nice ring to them.
The Donald and the Bobster
Of course Mrs Melania Trump and me would put on our best dresses and really show you poor members of the working class and peasantry what real fashion and beauty is.
Remember the two of us are not just beauties, but we have loads of brains as well.
The First Model and the First Typist!
I know you can only marvel at the wealth of experience and expertise that we would provide in advising our husbands to run their countries.
Even the Russians who have been Trump’s cheerleaders and have generally supported our government would be supportive of the idea.
One of the greatest positives emerging from the Trump victory is that under his isolationist and inward looking government, all those so-called useless democracy projects run by crooked and criminal NGOs will stop receiving funding.
What that means is nobody will be able to hold our government accountable anymore as European donors are busy funding emergencies that were created by the millions of Syrian refugees who flooded Europe.
Hoooray! May Trump continue to lead the American people, including success in the second term. Maybe he may also convince his people on the importance of not having term limits, if his people so wish.
At least they should give him a third term which would allow him time to change the American constitution to allow leaders unlimited terms in office. Viva corruption!
So a lot of you were excited about how senior government officials were likely to be arrested for stealing public funds, right?
And that there was likely to be a lot of drama associated with arrests and trials in court?
That likelihood became even more alive in your heads when the Bobster made some statements to the effect that corruption would not be condoned in our Party and government.
The military even said something to that effect as well about corruption being a threat to national security, bla-bla-bla.
Having watched the developments in the party over the years, I can safely say I have studied and understood the beast quite intimately.
And I even pointed out recently that nothing happens to corrupt public officials.
If anything, that is the way of life — corruption.
If the Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission or police have an interest in where some of the funds went, they should just pay a visit to the rural homes of the accused and see what they spent the illicit money on.
But again, they will not go to their rural areas because Mudhara does not like corrupt people being punished.
Kembo strikes again
It was rather unsettling to learn that the person responsible for our national security is an ardent follower of a charismatic preacher who has a very colourful past.
According to the media, Shepherd Bushiri from Malawi has in the past threatened to walk in the air and made all sorts of interesting claims, including claiming ownership to a private jet which upon further inquiry turned out to be registered in somebody else’s name.
According to a video of Kembo, which is now widely available to anybody who cares to watch, he is set to be crowned, though I don’t know with what and by who.
I hope as State Security minister, he noticed that Bushiri first tells him that he is a minister of State and then later asks him if he is working. Could it be somebody did not stick to the script?
Could this be the same Kembo who was part of a delegation that believed the mumbo jumbo coming from a grade one dropout who told them that pure diesel was oozing from a rock?
Actually, that is how we do things in our party and government! To anybody with a problem with that, I have a few words to say: Munopenga! Liyahlanya! You are crazy!
Munhuwese kuna Amai!
Umasalu wezwelonke!
Dr Amai Marujata PhD (Fake)
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