Most of the domestic violence that occurs in the homes is a result of elements of jealousy or suspicion mainly by a partner or spouse. It is a sign of a breakdown of trust in a relationship or a marriage. In a strong relationship, a couple normally have complete trust in one another. While people assume that love is the most important factor in a relationship, it is a fact that sometimes love alone is not enough. There are other factors that come into play to bring about a healthy relationship.
sundayword BY PROSPER TINGINI
Love is a delight or fondness in someone or something. Affection is an extension of the love such that you would want an emotional attachment to it. It is something that affects the heart. There is an element of possessiveness to the love. A combination of both love and a strong affection for each other brings two people together, creating a bond between the two. Anything that then threatens that bond brings friction to the relationship. One party to the relationship will then develop a hostile protective attitude or direct an anger towards either the source of the threat or the partner, if viewed to be in collusion with the perceived threat. A small issue can instigate a suspicion in a relationship, even when such a threat does not exist.
Once one partner in a relationship starts to believe that there is an outside interference to the bond between the two, it triggers defensive senses which also generate an attack mode in the brain. Once a person loses control of those aggressive senses, he or she becomes violent either to the threat itself or to the other partner. Uncontrolled emotions can then lead to violence and injury or even the death of the other party.
With this in mind, the Lord our God then sought to bring a resolution to the problem by bringing an arrangement that sought to eliminate the practice of violence in cases where jealousy or the suspicion of infidelity is at play. He decided to bring Himself into the equation so that He could act as the referee, thereby punishing the offender in the process. His representatives on the planet Earth, the priests or those anointed to act on His behalf, were authorised to play the role of the go-between in such disputes. On the other hand, most women would never confess to acts of infidelity to their husbands, even if they are indeed guilty of such acts. They would rather take those secrets down with them into their graves, even when subjected to brutal domestic violence, in a bid to hide the truth.
In the fourth book of Moses, Numbers 5 verse 11-31, in the wilderness of Mount Sinai, God directed Moses to tell the people; “If any man’s wife goes astray and acts unfaithfully against him, if a man lies with her carnally, and it is hidden from the eyes of her husband, and she is undetected though she has defiled herself and there is no witness against her, since she was not taken in the act; and if the spirit of jealousy comes upon him, and he is jealous of his wife who has defiled herself, then the man shall bring his wife to the priest, and bring the offering required of her, a tenth of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, for it is a cereal offering of remembrance, bringing iniquity to remembrance”.
“The priest shall bring her near, and set her before the Lord; and the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel and take some of the dust that is on the floor of the tabernacle and put it into the water. And the priest shall set the woman before the Lord, and unbind the hair of the woman’s head, and place in her hands the cereal of remembrance, which is the cereal offering of jealousy. And in his hand the priest shall have the water of bitterness that brings the curse (holy water mixed with the dust of the church). Then the priest shall make her take an oath, saying; “If no man has lain with you, and you have not turned aside to uncleanness, while you were under your husband’s authority, be free from this water of bitterness that brings the curse”.
“But if you have gone astray, though you are under your husband’s authority, and if you have defiled yourself, and some men other than your husband has lain with you, (let the priest make the woman take the oath of the curse, and say to the woman), ‘the Lord makes you an execration and oath among your people, when the Lord makes your thigh fall away and your body swell, that this water that brings the curse pass into your bowels and make your body swell, and your thigh fall away?’ And the woman shall say, ‘Amen, Amen’.
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“Then the priest shall write these curses in a book and wash them off into the water of bitterness; and he shall make the woman drink the water of bitterness that brings the curse, and the water that brings the curse shall enter into her and cause bitter pain. And the priest shall take the cereal offering of jealousy out of the woman’s hand and shall wave the cereal offering before the Lord and bring it to the altar; and the priest shall take a handful of the cereal offering, as its memorial portion, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall make the woman drink the water. And when he has made her drink the water, then, if she has defiled herself and has acted unfaithfully against her husband, the water that brings the curse shall enter into her, and cause biter pain, and her body shall swell, and the thigh shall fall away, and the woman shall become an execration among the people. But if the woman has not defiled herself and is clean, then she shall be free and conceive children.
“This is the law in cases of jealousy, when a wife, though under her husband’s authority, goes astray and defiles herself, or when the spirit of jealousy comes upon a man and he is jealous of his wife; then he shall set the woman before the Lord, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law. The man shall be free from iniquity but the woman shall bear her iniquity”.
Causes for jealousy can arise which can give rise to the feelings of suspicions of infidelity. If these feelings are too strong in the man and there is no recourse to wash away these thoughts, then the husband is likely to resort to violence in an effort to try to extract the truth. The Lord our God is giving an opening and a platform where the jealous husband can seek to find the truth without subjecting the wife to physical violence.
Prosper Tingini is a religious writer. He compiled a book titled, God’s Constitution For Mankind: The laws and commandments. His contact details are: 0771 260 195 or email: [email protected]
