My People, I trust I find you well. Of course, you can never be well given the poverty that you are wallowing in. It is really your fault. How could you for more than 30 years continuously elect the same old incompetent administration that really messed up your life?
BY DOCTOR STOP IT
Let me point out that during that time, Lizard Ngwena was part of the establishment, including at one time as a vice-president.
So this nonsense of “it’s no longer business as usual” that he has been parroting is nothing more than overglorified grandstanding.
Lizard Ngwena has a very short memory.
He forgets that when little-known Blessing Chebundo gave him a big shellacking in Kwekwe during elections, he had to flee from his base.
During that time, it was Gushungo The Bobster who saved his career, which had been ended prematurely by Chebundo.
This gave him enough time to recover politically and he emerged in a newly created and curiously named Chirumhanzu- Zibagwe constituency.
Now he talks as if he was nowhere near the mismanagement of the country.
Lizard Ngwena is so incompetent that since he came to power through a military coup d’etat, he has not even buried a single hero or heroine at the national Heroes’ Acre. what incompetence!
So Mr Lizard was in Matabeleland North province last week.
Does anybody still remember Sarah Mahoka? That lady that was brave enough to stand up and call Ngwena a dhakisi (duck)?
I think she was right actually.
Sorry I digress, but I think she was courageous and frank.
Predictably, dhakisi was going to give some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to some obsolete project or projects in that region which the government has never prioritised anyway.
The projects usually become relevant before elections when the leadership in the party gathers folk in Matabeleland to assure them that they are about to finish the Gwayi-Shangani Dam or finish the construction of the road.
Of course, such lame promises are never made in other parts of the country.
Needless to say, the rural folk will see the leadership in another five years pledging to complete the very same projects if given another opportunity to ruin the country.
As in Davos, Dhakisi lost an opportunity to apologise for the Gukurahundi massacres.
During his speech, he could have simply apologised and asked for forgiveness.
Maybe he will do that when he addresses campaign rallies.
Trip of shame?
Social media was on fire last week when the head of the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (ZEC) chairperson, Priscilla Chigumba, was photographed together with presidential advisor Christopher Mutsvangwa while observing elections in Russia.
The decision to be photographed together means both Chigumba and Mutsvangwa need advisors on media relations as the media storm was easily predictable.
It is actually very worrying that the president’s advisor needs an advisor.
But really, there is no need for anybody to be worried about anything.
Why should it be a problem for Zimbabweans who are on assignment to stop and have time and be photographed together?
Surely even though Mutsvangwa belongs to one political party, can people seriously say being photographed with the head of the ZEC will compromise the integrity of the elections?
Someone gave a vivid comparison to Chigumba and Mutsvangwa’s photograph.
He said it is like having two major football teams like Dynamos and CAPS United preparing for a big derby match.
But before the match, the referee of the expected derby match and a dynamos player attend a football seminar overseas from where they send selfies and photographs taken together and still expect him to be fair.
Can you imagine some malicious people were even raising the unproven allegation raised by former Chief Justice Godfrey Chidyausiku that Chigumba had solicited for a $20 000 bribe as a judge in order to throw out a case before her?
They were even saying on social media for such people to handle sensitive cases such as elections before allegations were proved otherwise was a big gamble.
Big egos and high-sounding titles
There was a curious story about how Burundian president Pierre Nkurunziza had been given extra titles of “Eternal Supreme Guide” by his party.
Elder, father, advisor is how the man who caused the deaths of thousands of his compatriots in order to get a third term in power is also referred .
Back home, as Gushungo began to realise how sweet power had become, his official title was changed to: President Robert Gabriel Mugabe, the Head of State and Government and Commander-in-Chief of the Zimbabwe Defence Forces and Chancellor of all state universities.
In West Africa, Gambia, another lunatic, Yahya Jammeh, who had come to power through a military coup, had awarded himself the official title of: His Excellency Sheikh Professor Alhaji Dr Yahya Abdul-Aziz Awal Jemus Junkung Jammeh Naasiru Deen Babili Mansa.
So it must be with keen interest that people are watching the young advocate pastor president Wamba dia Wamba Nero Nelson Chamisa’s collection of names and titles increasing at a phenomenal rate.
Dr Amai Stopit! (Fake UZ PhD)
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