letter to my people:BY DOCTOR STOP IT
My Dear People, Happy Independence Day. More on that next week.
Let me start by sincerely apologising for my unforgiveable failure to address you last week due to many reasons, chief among them the Covid-19 lockdown. As a responsible mother, I had to take extra precautions in terms of ensuring my safety and that of the people around me.
You see, unlike ED and those gangsters who are always around him, I always ensure those around me are safe from the global Covid-19 pandemic.
I am so very convinced that the more ED continues to publicly receive any donation for coronavirus, the more he will expose himself and those around him to infection.
That gaudy scarf of his should be quarantined for quite a while.
A whole year.
Preferably at Sherwood.
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Back to last week’s address, word reaching me is that most of you went into some form of depression as a result of my unforgivable mistake and let me quickly say that will not happen again as long as I can help it.
I can’t even imagine the excruciating withdrawal symptoms that most of you had to endure as a result of failing to receive your weekly address from Dr Amai.
If I add that to the trauma that Mthuli and ED regularly deliver in generous doses, then I can only shudder to imagine what you have had to endure.
As a form of atonement, I will make today’s letter slightly long.
I will not even add what our own Oppah Zvipange Muchinguri has done by making a huge spectacle of herself and becoming a monument to national embarrassment by suggesting that Covid-19 was a form of punishment to western countries for not allowing our politicians to steal elections, violence and other types of theft and fraud.
I hear ED and his fellow gangsters were in the meantime tearing across the country to make some assessment of how people were observing the lockdown. Really?
A whole president disturbing the peace with his noisy motorcade driving around the high-density suburbs in Harare trying to establish if people were observing the lockdown!
You see what presidents who have nothing really useful to do can end up doing or not doing?
Surely that information could have been easily supplied by those boys and girls in dark glasses, who usually have nothing to do other than intimidate peace-loving Zimbabweans going about their lawful business.
Next, ED was reportedly speeding across the country in his fuel-guzzling motorcade making assessments in Chegutu and Kadoma after which he told the captive media that he was happy to see that people were observing the lockdown.
When you deploy soldiers and police details, some of whom torment mainly unemployed citizens, it is not very difficult to observe the lockdown.
We do hope that the soldiers and their counterparts in the police force are being given adequate protection from the coronavirus.
Meanwhile, the Jenerari would not be outdone as he was also seen somewhere in Mashonaland East after flying in using a heri-copta while wearing coronavirus protective clothing.
We hope he also took time to explain to his audience why a whole vice-president was dressed in a giant romper or jumpsuit, which would have looked better on health workers.
Are leaders already helping themselves to personal protective equipment meant for the overworked and underpaid health workers? Maybe he was on a mission to tell his audience that due to the coronavirus, China would never be a korony again!
Stampeding coronavirus donations In these difficult times in which the coronavirus is wreaking havoc in the country, Zimbabweans are usually kept entertained by their bungling and error prone leaders.
In most cases, Zimbabweans vent their frustrations on social media after observing their leaders making a spectacle of themselves.
In some cases, we just have a good laugh as we watch and observe the guerillas trying to come to terms with finer things in life like statecraft.
Take, for example, the dilemma that Ngwena and his deputies find themselves facing these days as they don’t have much to do because of the lockdown.
Not that they have ever had much to do other than addressing political rallies in the countryside.
The coming of Covid-19 has in some strange way, given the three guerillas an excuse to go to work.
A case in point is the ambulance that was received by ED and the two vice-presidents two weeks ago.
How does a whole president and his two deputies (or vices) gather and receive a US$90 000 ambulance?
That kind of unsophisticated and crude gangsterism would not have been tolerated by the late and great Gushungo.
Never, never ever!
Or is the Jenerari insisting on always being there whenever Garwe appears in public?
Some people actually say he is the top dog since he was the one most visible during the coup.
So after they all receive the ambulance, what happens?
Another meeting to decide who benefits?
It would be good for good governance to publicly say how and where the ambulance would be deployed though.
Do all donations have to take place at State House?
When ED and his deputies continue interacting with different audiences, are they not increasing the risk around them?
Somebody please tell them that elbow and fist bumps violate all forms of social distancing and are as likely to result in spreading the virus or being infected.
While still on the ambulance, somebody had this suggestion to make: “Why doesn’t he (ED) donate that ambulance that chases him every time he makes noise around town?”
Another asked: “Surely is this what my country has become?
The president receiving mealie-meal and passing it to his vice to distribute. OMG”
Ntombizodwa Woyeee! Gushungo Woyeee! Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
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