You’ve lost that loving feeling!

Sport
THEY say that we never really know the extent of our love until the object of our love is taken away from us. The harshest and most real example of that is obviously the loss of a person close to us, but in recent weeks and months many have discovered the extent of their love for sport through not being able to take part in it, be it as a player, coach or a spectator. This period of time has perhaps helped to show us how much we miss sport (or maybe surprisingly have not missed it); it has maybe served to show us that we have simply been doing sport instead of loving it.

school of sport:with TIM MIDDLETON

THEY say that we never really know the extent of our love until the object of our love is taken away from us. The harshest and most real example of that is obviously the loss of a person close to us, but in recent weeks and months many have discovered the extent of their love for sport through not being able to take part in it, be it as a player, coach or a spectator. This period of time has perhaps helped to show us how much we miss sport (or maybe surprisingly have not missed it); it has maybe served to show us that we have simply been doing sport instead of loving it.

At the same time it should also be added that the events of the recent weeks have served to convey what is important in life, to put our sporting hopes and dreams and loves in perspective.

In a different era, in a very different context, a critic served to appraise people of how they actually were doing. The comments went along these lines: “I know all about your incredible achievements, all your successes, victories, triumphs. Yeah, they are very impressive. Full kudos to you! I know and respect how hard you guys have trained and worked for it all, have overcome injuries; have tackled all that got in your way. You have refused to quit, shown immense “stickability” and courage and persisted through really hard times. Hey, that is all massively commended! What’s more, you have not tolerated cheats or slackers to deter you from these achievements. Well played, guys!” But, as we would anticipate, there was a ‘but’ — a serious ‘but’.

All of those achievements and accolades were well deserved and praiseworthy. They were fantastic! In our sporting context, they would be equally worthy of praise and adulation. Indeed, many teams will have demonstrated all of the above and received much glory and honour. There is a problem, though, a big problem, in fact. The problem lies in the ‘but’, for what followed the paraphrased appraisal above were the six stark words: “you have lost your first love.”

In more recent times (albeit in the sixties), the Righteous Brothers had a massive hit song entitled You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling, which the fiercely competitive fighter pilots in the classic 1986 film Top Gun used to serenade their tutor. The irony, however, was that it was Maverick (the character played by Tom Cruise) who was the one who was to discover he had lost his first love, the love of flying, in the pursuit of beating all others; his reckless attitude, his aggressive tactics, his arrogant demeanour were all about proving himself in the pursuit of the Top Gun trophy yet in doing so he put many others at risk.

In coming to terms with the loss of his wingman, Goose, he discovered the full extent of his passion. He had lost the love for flying.

And there too lies the heart of our problem today: many folk involved in sport today, in whatever capacity, have lost their first love. They have forgotten why they came into sport in the first place. They have forsaken the charm and delight and passion they saw in, and gained from, sport. It has gone — gone! Instead, it has become a fight for trophies, for control, for victories, for kudos, for recognition, for self. Interestingly, the appraisal given above was actually a loose paraphrase from the Bible [Revelation 2] about a particular church, but the picture speaks volumes of where we have taken our sporting gods. We have lost all perspective, as these last few months may have shown.

Ultimately, the final comment rings loudest in whatever field we may play: “you have lost your first love. You have forsaken the love you had at first.” Yes, we may have recorded astonishing achievements; yes, we may have shown immense resolve and commitment and perseverance in order to achieve those great deeds.

Yes, we may even have stood up against all those who have tried to knock us down through all forms of cheating, bending the rules or other heresies. But… The bottom line is this: We need to band together as righteous people and as brothers and recognise that we have blown things way out of proportion with regard to sport over the years and go back to do things as we did them at first. We need to ensure our children grow to have that loving feeling first about sport.

The real victory we need to achieve is love of sport; when that is found our reward will be even greater while others’ safety will be even surer. The stark reality is that we have lost the loving feeling and because we have lost it, we have truly lost. No buts! Let us find that loving feeling!

l Tim Middleton is a former international hockey player and headmaster, currently serving as the executive director of the Association of Trust Schools. Email: [email protected].