The biggest tragedy is that a lot of teachings are concentrated mostly on marriage topics, both in our religious spheres and in our social circles. Marriages don’t just drop from the heavens. There are stages and processes that start from courtship, establishment of relationships, compatibility aspects, and other matters that are very often ignored before couples rush to tie the knot.
PROSPER TINGINI
Not much guidance is given to our youths to prepare them for these initial romantic phases necessary before marriage for them to avoid making wrong decisions in the end. Both religious and cultural norms expect the males to initiate proposals, whether at courtships levels, relationship and sex issues, proposals for marriage stuff, and a lot of other related matters. In this regard, wisdom should direct us to put more effort in educating the males on most of the topics relating to premarital matters and on partnership choices. A big consequence is that most boys and men cannot even distinguish between true love and lust. Very often after the men manage to quench their lusting for their victims, their true feelings and characters are then exposed. It is an area that grossly needs thorough education to save relationships and marriages.
I am not a guru on the intricate issues of love, but my observations and overall experiences point to the fact that men are often to blame for most of the problems in relationships or marriages. Their behaviours usually ignite elements of friction or mistrust among couples. It is then imperative that a greater focus should be placed on educating our male population on issues to do with maintaining happiness and peaceful co-existence across all relationships to reduce heartbreaks, domestic violence, potential divorce and other related matters. God first created a man, then realised that a man alone needed a partner to fulfil the various roles for the advancement of mankind. He then created a woman. It is thus a man’s duty to take good care of the blessed union of a man and woman. That is why it is implied that the man is the head of a family.
Lies are a very big factor that can generate the seeds for mistrust at any level in any relationship. A man would sometimes lie to impress a lady by whatever means to enable him to score good points by adding some untruthful things in order to boost his status , either in answer to her questions of interests or to cover up for some bad characteristics. When these lies come out in the open from their closets, relationships are often scarred. Genesis 2:25 reads: And the man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed. In that vein, lets not hide things of interest from our partners. It is best to tell the truth and then make an apology to your partner for any misdeeds. Couples who share the innermost things, good or bad, often share very strong relationship bonds. Your wife is the most important member in your family circle. Genesis 2 :24 reads: Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh.
Never use money to manipulate your partner or wife. In a marriage all the money should belong to both of you. There is this talk that says: The devil tempts men most when they have money, and conversely, the women are tempted most when they don’t have money. For us to keep the devil away, whenever you have money give it to your wife so that while you the man walks without money (without temptation), she walks with money (also without temptation) and the devil is kept away from both of you! Money is said to be the cause of most sins of evil. Married couples should always financially operate from one pool of resources regardless of who brings the money or resource home (1 Peter 3). Most importantly, don’t complicate your love or affection for your wife with another woman, this is called adultery. In Matthew 5 v 28, Jesus spoke, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that any man who looks at a woman lustfully (if married) has already committed adultery with her.” Never compare your partner or wife to another woman or to an ex-partner. If that other woman was good for you then God would have given her to you (2 Corithians 10 v 2).
A wife is a blessing from God.Proverbs 18 v 22 reads: ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.’ Proverbs 19:14 goes on to say, ‘A house and wealth are inherited from the father but a good wife is from the Lord.’ Your marriage is therefore not a mistake .It is probably you the husband who is making the mistakes in the marriage. You may divorce and remarry many times, but still experience problems in your marriages. Until you discover the mistakes you are making nobody can correct them for you. The way you make your bed is the way you will lay in it, the saying goes. Your habit or character is the mistake and not particularly your wife or partner.
Men who have a habit of straying out of the house are like birds that stray from their nests (Proverbs 27 v 8).Those who are companions of women who are literally “fishers of men”, squander their wealth. Desist from being lured by the sight of a prostitute or scantly dressed women, nor be seduced by their smooth talk or persuasive tongues. Proverbs 7:21-23 reads: “With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him….All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter.. he does not know that it shall cost his wealth and life.” Any man who succumbs to such morals becomes a stray animal and lacks sense as he ruins his own life.
- Chamisa under fire over US$120K donation
- Mavhunga puts DeMbare into Chibuku quarterfinals
- Pension funds bet on Cabora Bassa oilfields
- Councils defy govt fire tender directive
Keep Reading
Man, stick to your wife or the potential wife partner and love her and her alone. Look at your own manners. Your uncontrolled anger, unforgivingness, laziness, lack of love and affection, lack of attention, impatience, bitterness, selfishness, ignorance, stinginess, infidelity, etc, are the cause why your relationship or marriage needs to move out of the intensive care unit. Regrettably we are now living in a generation that prefers to argue endlessly on matters of disputes or error, instead of acknowledging one’s or the other’s mistakes by just saying, “I AM SORRY.”
- Prosper Tingini is the Scribe for The Children of God Missionary Assembly. Phone: 0771260195 or email: [email protected].