I see you are worried about the African Union summit set for later this month.
I regret to say that all Dr Abie got was the lame catchphrase that Zimbabwe would be guided by the African Union. You must be a disappointed man. Since when has my country ever been guided by the AU?
It seems you mistakenly think that there is some kind of crisis in your country. Crisis? What crisis? There is no crisis in Ivory Coast.
People went to the vote, didn’t they? What did the Constitutional Council say about the result?
The thing is, Ivorians went to the ballot in November last year. Western puppets who make up Ivory Coast’s Election Commission and the United Nations said opposition leader Alassane Ouattara won the election. But that is unimaginable.
Your Constitutional Council, which I understand has the final word on the results, did the right thing in nullifying the results. It is made of true patriots.
So what’s the fuss? You’re the legitimate leader of the Ivory Coast. The only mistake you made is you were not sworn in early enough, a mistake most African leaders make.
It doesn’t matter if someone else was also sworn in by some renegade lawyer. Dear Laurent, you should quickly prefer treason charges on whoever swore in Ouattara and on Ouattara himself.
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What is stopping you from storming the hotel in which the treasonous rebel is holed in? Don’t you have a Youth Brigade and a Woman’s League that can blockade the hotel and starve the reprobate? Where are the war veterans?
I have always said you’re too much of a naive gentleman. Where are your securocrats when you need them most? Look here Laurent, you should form an organisation called the Joint Operatins Command comprising all the service chiefs.
Here we call them The Securocrats. You must pay them well and build them good mansions. That way they would use the army, the police, and all other uniformed forces to defend you. You should also give them the best farms.
By the way, Laurent, who owns the rich cocoa farms in the north? I understand 90% are owned by foreigners while the remaining 10% are owned by Ouattara’s rebels. For goodness sake Laurent, there is need for land reform in your country.
How can foreigners own the most productive land in the country? Send war veterans and youths into the farms; it doesn’t matter if they kill a few foreigners.
Distribute the farms among your most trusted lieutenants; remember in this the securocrats come first. It doesn’t matter if the new farm occupiers know nothing about farming cocoa, they will learn along the way.
The country’s economy will stutter a little, but what economy doesn’t falter once in a while?
You see Laurent, the people who benefit most from the cocoa exports, are Western imperialists. It is them who love chocolate, not us. I understand Néstlé is one of the biggest beneficiaries of the cocoa trade. We have had a little problem with them here too, but we came out the better for it. Ivorians could also do the same.
Forget about Western sanctions. I understand they have imposed sanctions on you, your family and those who support you. They never work; they won’t affect you and the others, they will affect the common people. By the way, what is this I hear that your family lives in the United States? For goodness’ sake Laurent, get the children out of there pronto and send them to Hong Kong or Malaysia. Do you get the drift? I mean look East.
If the West won’t buy your cocoa, China will do, remember China’s population is a quarter of the world’s. Can you satisfy that? Since they began buying Zimbabwean tobacco we have forgotten about British American Tobacco and other agents of Western imperialist capital. Moreover China wouldn’t question your country’s use of child labour on cocoa farms!
In your “Look East” policy impress upon the French that Ivory Coast will never be a colony again.
If your former colonial power thinks that it can continue to behave like a big brother to your country tell little Sarkozy that he can keep his France while you keep your Ivory Coast.
I see some West African countries are considering military intervention to oust you. Forget about it; none of them will have the balls to do so. Comrade John Atta Mills has already shown the way; Ghana doesn’t think a military intervention will solve the Ivorian problem. See, it seems great African statesmen always come from Ghana.
Do you seriously think Jonathan will try his good luck on you? He has too much on his plate already. See what I mean? Without Ghana and Nigeria who would constitute the intervening force?
You sound worried about what the AU will say when we meet later this month? You never cease to amaze me. In the past decade the AU has made some little noises about the situation in Zimbabwe but what have they done about it?
I have attended all AU summits and not one head of state has raised as much as a finger. You know what African leaders are; there is none of them who hasn’t a skeleton in his cupboard.
Ban Ki-moon has been making little noises too. Forget the little clown; whatever resolutions the UN will propose will be vetoed by our friends in the East. Russia comes in handy too once in a while. As for South Africa, it will toyi-toyi for you in New York.
So you see, Cde Gbagbo, as far as your disciplined stance against Western imperialism stands the sky is the limit.My warmest regards.
