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Lighterworld: Landlord begs for own rentals

“Madam,” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district.  The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving.  They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to US$400.”
“How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife.  “May I ask who you are?”
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes.  “I’m the landlord,” he sobbed.

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.  When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
Eventually little Johnny’s turn came. Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
The teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.
“It’s a period,” reported Johnny.
“Well I can see that,” she said, “but what is so exciting about a period.”
“Damned if I knew,” said Johnny, “but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Dad had a heart attack, mommy fainted, and the man next door shot himself.”

Colby and Terri were out to dinner, and Colby was about halfway through with his meal before he stopped and took a good look at his potato.
He called over the waitress and complained, “This potato is bad.”
The waitress picked it up, smacked it, put it back on Colby’s plate and said, “If that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know.”

A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied, “No, I was going fishing but dad told me that I needed to go to church.”
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing
To which the boy replied, “Yes he did. Dad said he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.”

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