As adults and communities that work with and are a part of the boy child, I want to challenge you and ask you: How do you see that boy in your home, school, church or social grouping? Some bundle of trouble? A string of girls and women behind them, with babies strapped on their backs? List is endless.
Believe you me, the boy child that we have in almost all of our homes is viewed with mixed feelings and some scepticism. My plea to you all is that we see boys in new ways and mentor them to be more interpersonally engaged.
Let us believe in the boy child’s ability to be happy, healthy individuals who are positive contributors to community and family life. Let us recognise and support what is natural about boys’ behaviour and realise the need to help them connect more with themselves and others.
Let us be wary of social pressures and help boys out of the “box”. Boys grow up hearing messages that are limiting and hurtful like; “boys don’t cry”, “boys don’t do pots and pans” and “boys need to prove themselves through fighting”. As society, we need and must help the boy child learn that there are many ways to be a man.
That it is alright to own and express vulnerable feelings and that there are many ways of resolving conflict other than through violence, so they can be better fathers, brothers, nephews, uncles and grandfathers of tomorrow. Let us not expose our boy children to violence of any kind and make them feel valued and respected for who they are.
Let us see boys as something positive other than as problems. Do away with the old adage that says, “Boys will be boys”. As society we tend to highlight the trouble boys get into and forget to support them for the good things they bring us since they are also our gifts from God. Part of the problems boys face in meeting the world have to do with the way the world meets them. Let us teach boys to be respectfully active i. e allowing them to be boys in a responsible way.
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Let me leave you with this message; research, the world over has shown that boys and girls share the same emotions, the same capacity for relationships, the same basic cognitive functions and the same general levels of intelligence. As such, let us remember that boys have and should enjoy the best possible start in life by making sure they enjoy educational rights, rights to fatherhood, protection from violence, right to good health ( both physical and mental ) and a right to real life choices.Till we meet again in this, our corner.
BY SIMBISO MADZIKANYIKA-MNKANDLA
