Our children can drive us mad sometimes but we have the overwhelming ability to see beyond all that and still exude love and warmth.
But I am also shocked when I speak to friends about adopting children and they all look at me as if I have lost my marbles.
I can understand the unconditional love we have for our biological children but the men that we love, marry or live with start of in most cases as being complete strangers but we grow to love and trust them.
How can it be so easy to meet a man and decide you want him in your life but you cannot feel drawn towards a young helpless child?
There are so many children out there who need safe homes but very few, if any, black people will adopt children.
When I told a friend that if I had been unable to have children of my own I would have gone the adoption route, she said those children would have given me so much trouble.
Her reasoning was that because I would not know their totem and their biological background, it would be difficult to raise them.
But you see raising children will always be hard even if you are the biological parent. If you gave birth to your child, got it from a children’s home or from the church, the child will still need lots of love, discipline and moral guidance.
I have friends who are biological parents to their children and some of the children are outright tyrants but the parents still love them and have high hopes for the children even when they can see the children are headed for prison.
I know a young white couple that has adopted two black children. Both parents and children are happy with each other.
But of course there are all those other judgemental people around who pass snide remarks about white people who adopt black children.
My friends are well travelled, highly educated and are normally very sensible people but when it comes to the issue of adoption they all oppose it strongly.
They are scared of the unknown. Not all adopted children are potentially little bombs waiting to explode.
How many people do we know who have given birth to children that became murderers, thieves or rapists?
We just seem more forgiving and accepting when a murderer is “our biological child”.
We might never hear stories of adopted children going off into the world to do amazing things because we have simply closed our doors to adoption.
Every child needs a break in life. Every child deserves a place in the sun.
We take a chance on love and go out with complete strangers who might turn out to be raving lunatics but we cannot find it in our hearts to take a chance on abandoned or orphaned children.
What does it say about us? Why is it easy for other nationalities to adopt children and love them unconditionally?
In some countries some young people are deciding early in life that instead of giving birth to one or two children, they will adopt.
More people especially in Zimbabwe need to start thinking of adoption. Why give birth to more children when there are already so many without homes?
I know raising children is expensive but what you were hoping to spend on your biological child could be spent on your adopted child. It will make a difference in the child’s life.
I have my own children but maybe one day once I am done with their education I will be in a position to take a chance on one or two children who need love, a safe home and a family.
We need to overcome our fear of non-biological children and also get over our arrogance of wanting to show the world that we are fertile.