A young woman hoping to marry one day will, while waiting for marriage material, find a man who pays her rent, another who buys her clothes, another who buys groceries and yet another who pays for that Brazilian human hair and all the hairstyles that go with it.
To run three or more men is a skill but it is a wasted skill. What I am going to suggest here is something some of our women are already doing, so do not look so shocked and disgusted. Just because people are not talking about it openly does not mean it does not exist. We are all sinners but our sins are just different!
The reality that many people do not want to face up to is that it is very hard to get a man or woman who ticks all your boxes. Sometimes you settle for two or five out of 10 and hope for the best.
Some young women however still want to have it all, so they have instituted division of labour and responsibilities. It is another form of out-sourcing your skills for small financial or material rewards. This is all very well if you are playing for small stakes. Some women do this because they are poor. So now I am going to perfect the skills you already have — we all have different talents — some good, some unsavoury but here we do not judge.
I could ask you to marry money but you have to find it first and the same goes for following the money.
There are more than 200 dating websites to fulfil all your fantasies and needs. You could join e-Harmony.com or Millionaire Dates.com among others. If you want money, there is no use subscribing to BlackDates.com, ChristianCouples.com or kinkysex.com —unless you google the candidates and establish how much they are worth. There is no point seeking poor men when all you want is to be rich — follow the money!
You do have to be gifted in the looks department or be very photogenic because the profile picture you post on the dating site will decide how many hits you will get. Others have however been successful because of other talents that even I am scared to mention.
Apart from websites, you could start dressing up and going to the races at Borrowdale racecourse. There are many rich men who go there.My suggestion is: do not marry the money, simply follow it. The problem with marrying the money is that there are too many rules to be followed.
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Decide which money to follow
Old money almost always insists on a pre-nuptial agreement. Old money is careful and normally seeks to marry a woman of acceptable breeding. Old money is good to follow because of benefits that you get while on the journey. And benefits only accrue if you are shrewd. Accept gifts of expensive jewellery but ensure they are not family heirlooms because when you break up he will take them back. Ensure that whatever diamonds and gold he buys you is yours to keep.
If you marry old money sign the pre-nup on the understanding that he buys a villa in Croatia in your name and that he makes a standing money transfer order to your account of not less than US$200 000 a month. Do not squander the money on expensive bags, shoes and clothes — he will buy those for you because he wants you to look good. Invest your monthly allowance in gold and property. You do not want to be left destitute when old money is released from his mortal coil.
New money is easy. It is arrogant and wants everyone to know just how much of the dosh there is. New money provides easy but risky pickings. Zimbabwe is awash with new money but some of it is not into protected sex. Some of it wants you to bear children for it despite the fact that most of it is already married to two or more women.
With new money your due diligence and risk assessment should be flawless. Ask yourself how far you want to go. The good thing with new money is that, like old money, it too cannot resist beauty or sexy bodies. New money is itchy and is crying out to be spent so you will be pampered just to bring you around to the idea of being bedded. You will need to work very fast with new money just to get as much for your investments as possible before you have to put out. If you are eventually cornered then insist on protection and insist on pre-testing. I bet you new money will disappear and will never call again.
Once you have money of your own you will not need to run a four-man racket just to stay in the game. All you will need is to find that man who makes your toes curl with ecstasy. Marry him if you want to and have children.
Some of you are already saying money does not buy happiness. That my friends is not true. People who say you cannot buy happiness have never been to New York, shopped on Oxford Street or spent an evening in Soho, London. The quality and quantity of happiness you can buy is determined by the amount of your bank balance.
On a very serious note though, if you want to look good and get rich, you do have to work very hard. Come up with a viable non-capital intensive project that can make you money slowly but steadily. Relying on men for your pedicures and clothes is a short-sighted project.
It is hard enough to undress for one man; can you imagine a lifetime of doing it for several men all in the space of a few days a week? Special projects have no guarantees and they do get fewer and fewer as one grows old. It is very noble to work for your own money and it is even more exciting to shop for happiness with your own hard earned money.
*[email protected] Grace Mutandwa1@twitter
