Women spend a lot of time waiting — for love, for someone or something to happen.
Column by Grace Mutandwa
Waiting can be a pain so you have to find something to occupy you while you wait but you should also realise that waiting will not always deliver.
There are women who have been waiting for a special man, waiting for a man to ask for their hand in marriage or simply waiting for someone to ask them to move in with them.
Young women might have time to wait and if you are young then maybe while you wait you could learn another language, join a gym, join a book or dance club or start working on the things you want to improve on your body.
You do not necessarily have to undergo plastic surgery but you could change your hairstyle, your make-up or revamp your wardrobe.
Sexuality is all about how you feel inside and on the outside. It is about taking a decision to live your life to the full, creating your own happy space and looking at yourself internally and externally and liking what you see. Sexuality is about knowing yourself and appreciating who you are.
Sexuality borders on narcissism but self-knowledge makes it easier for one to exude raw sexuality without inducing narcissistic tendencies.
Exploring your sexuality gives you the power to know what you want and when and if need be, go after it. In some cases some women who are assured of their sexuality become arrogant but clever women know how to use their sexuality without becoming arrogant. It takes time and work to reach a calm and peaceful state of sexuality
If you have already hit 30 and you are still waiting and you have not even started dealing with issues of your sexuality, maybe it is time to start working on it and it might also be time for you to stop waiting.
I know they say good things come to those who wait but this is just to raise your hopes — sometimes you do have to go after the good things. Be more proactive and start asking guys you like out on friendly dates.
Get to know some of the good men surrounding you. I mean get to know them, not take them to bed. By giving yourself a chance to know some of these men, you might stumble on the one!
Confident women exude sexuality
Both young and mature women want to look sexy — they want to turn men’s heads. When you look good it boosts your confidence, it makes you feel secure and simply happy about who you are. When a woman radiates confidence, it becomes easier for men to notice her.
Women who feel comfortable and happy with the way they look also feel sexier and exude a sexuality that draws men. Such women rarely have to spend their lives waiting — they actually pick and choose.
Every woman wants to have the power to pick and choose. No woman wants to wait forever and then eventually settle for whatever comes along. There are women out there in sync with their sexuality so much that they can get any man to fall deeply in love with them but keep their eyes peeled for someone more sexually challenging and intellectually robust.
‘Human beings are highly sexual animals’
There are many men out there scared of asking certain women out on dates. There is simply too much patriarchal pressure on men to be the ones that go hunting. There is nothing wrong with a woman who hunts as long as she does it with grace and respect.
There is a certain finesse required in being an effective female hunter. You need to ask a man out in a way that sounds like it was his idea all along. You need to do it in a non-predatory or non-threatening manner.
You do want the man to like and hopefully fall in love with you, so be gentle even if your immediate thought is to whisk him home and show him your playroom.
Men might look brave or even attempt to rule the world but women actually possess the real power. No matter how powerful a man is, at one point or another he meets a woman in whose arms he melts.
We are all highly sexual animals. Men use that sexual instinct to hunt for women and women should use it too to get the men they want. Using your sexuality does not always and should not always boil down to taking off your lingerie while you hunt.
When you finally find the one, before you even strip, start thinking of the gentlest way to get him to agree to go for that all important HIV test. It is a tough topic but it needs to be addressed before you both get hot and steamy.
HIV and Aids is not a light topic so you really need to first work on knowing who you are, getting to love and respect yourself first and learning the language of both sickly-sweet and tough love. This will make you a stronger person and a person who respects others as well.
You must always remember that in both love and war, the language we use is mostly determined by our self-knowledge and how we value or under-value who we are, as well as where we place others.
- [email protected]: GraceMutandwa1
