HomeOpinion & AnalysisRhodesians drank Kariba water to cause energy crisis

Rhodesians drank Kariba water to cause energy crisis

My dear people,
After doing a bit of globe-trotting, I was happy to be back home after visiting New York  in the US on your behalf.


Given the thunderous reaction to the presentation made by  Mdhara Gushaz  at the United Nations, it was only natural that millions of Zimbabweans voluntarily turned up at the airport to welcome myself  and the Supreme Leader.

Those who had silly ideas that Mdhara Gushaz would use the opportunity to chide Energy minister Samuel Undenge were put in their proper places when they were told in no uncertain terms that he was not responsible for the power shortages in the country.

We all know that white Rhodesians and their European and American cousins  posing as tourists have been flocking to Kariba and drinking all the water in the lake.

My intelligence boys and girls also tell me that the pale devils, who are responsible for the sanctions, have been taking bucketfuls of Kariba water and dumping it outside the lake.

Naturally, as the Supreme Leader explained in very simple and plain language, this has resulted in  the water levels in Lake Kariba  going down,  making it impossible to generate adequate electricity.

Again, I am sure it was not lost on you that Undenge was going to host me in Chimanimani  a few days later. While some politicians in Manicaland were trying to sabotage my visit, loyal Samuel was fighting in my corner.
So that’s why Mdhara exonerated him from  being responsible for power shortages in the country, despite presiding over the ministry responsible for power generation.

Of course, as Mdhara said, Undenge is not a generator which can produce electricity.

Munhu wese kuna Amai
More than any other time, I am now convinced that given the unending factional fights in Zanu PF, I may have no option but to reveal that if the people so wish, I would be ready to reluctantly offer myself as an option to lead when Mdhara retires.

The divisions are so deep-rooted that I noticed there were people who snubbed my Chimanimani rally.

Mboko, one of the assistants, was in attendance but the other assistant, MuZambia, was nowhere to be seen. Nobody has told me why you whisper such names behind people. I would be interested to know what you call me behind my back. It had better be something complimentary but befitting my status and stature.

I would not mind being called Queen of Grace, Empress Grace, Unconquerable, Our Next Leader, Mai Venyika, Umasalu wezwelonke and other names that aptly describe me as a caring, loving, humble and without unbridled ambition.
I know that some of you have made silly whispers  that I cannot speak Chinese although I have made it very clear that I first studied for a degree where I specialised in Mandarin before attaining my PhD in record time.

The day Chimanimani came to a standstill

As most of you will know, given that all the newspapers gave it prominence, my visit to Chimanimani sent very clear messages kuti munhu wese ari kuna amai.

My estimate is that more than 120 000 people came to hear me speak. I did not disappoint them.

In addition to agricultural equipment which included tractors, planters, a fertiliser spreader and knapsack sprayers,   I donated groceries  which will help Loyal Samuel to bag a seat in the next election.

You will remember that in Binga I left shoes and soccer boots, clothes, cooking oil and soap while in Mashonaland West it was groceries and second-hand clothes which must have been smuggled in by some Gamatox elements.

However, in Manicaland we were not pulling any punches. I left 25 000 litres of cooking oil,
3 000 bars of washing soap, brand new clothes, shoes, school bags 250 tonnes of maize and  blankets.

I was not done yet. All the traditional leaders received  suits and I will not say where we sourced them. Please, no mischievous whispers of what other types of intimate clothing we may have  bought for the chiefs.  Each one  received 2 000 litres of diesel and blankets.

Oppah and Supa helpfully added fuel, tonnes of roofing material and cement.

I still have more trips planned and by the time I am done, you will all be feeling me.

Munhu wese kuna Amai!
Your Mother
Doctor Amai (PhD UZ)
For feedback please email: doctorstopit@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Stories you will enjoy

Recommended reading