HomeOpinion & AnalysisDr Stop It: Hotel Mboko deserves Nobel Prize for his sobering views

Dr Stop It: Hotel Mboko deserves Nobel Prize for his sobering views

My People,
Today I will start with some very patriotic statements attributed to one of the assistants to the Supreme Leader.

LETTER TO MY PEOPLE

The party, in its wisdom, realised that there was nobody with enough heroism and stamina to be called a deputy to Mdhara. So we only have assistants.

The statement attributed to Mboko, for which he needs to be awarded a medal for nation building reads: “If anybody thinks Mashonaland is more developed than Matabeleland, that person is making a mistake. Those are falsehoods. It is not true. It is all in our minds.”

When one starts analysing statements made by global statesmen and women, political icons and revolutionaries, that statement by Mboko will be written next to other gems made by Mdhara, Kim Il Sung, Lenin, Stalin and ME.

It required no less than Mboko himself to say that the so-called under development and marginalisation of Matabeleland only exists in people’s imaginations.

Mdhara is for everybody and treats all people equally.

Of course here and there mistakes are made but as Mboko says: “Yes, it could be said that Matabeleland has no [certain items] but it will be unfair to say it is less developed than Mutoko.”

Where are the Nobel Peace Prize people when such visionaries and nation-builders are going unnoticed?

I have already warmed up to this character, Hotel Mboko. He has refreshingly liberal views. The kind of views that I could live with, or is it leave with? The kind of views that embrace both women and men and all Zimbabweans regardless of which part of the country they come from.

Listen to this: “But please, the fundamentalists who believe that no woman can rule this country, no Ndebele can rule this country; these are just perceptions of people who don’t even know how this world is run.”

Bravo Mboko! I especially love that bit where you say even a woman can rule this country!

This guy, who as you all know, is not my senior in anything would make a good deputy to ME in future.

It could be ME or somebody else. I have already declared that being a war veteran is not really important because we are all war veterans.

So it could be anybody, say even Gidza himself. Watch this space.

I cannot help but give you another of the revolutionary statements attributed to Hotel Mboko in a recent interview.

“You see, this country is composed of people from all over the world. We have people who came from Cameroon, Uganda, Sudan, Burundi, Rwanda, the DRC, Tanzania, Ethiopia, Mozambique, South Africa and Europe.”

But the most incisive analysis was: “Look at all that has happened in the past. We have had people who came here, behaving in this way and so forth, ending up the other way round. You don’t do things like that. That’s why I call them fundamentalists because they don’t understand what happens here.”

I think that paragraph should be recited by all children at their crèches in order to give them the correct orientation! Though I must add I have not a single clue of what he meant, but I think it was a good thing.

Stop It Lizard
The other assistant to Mdhara, that over ambitious lizard which wants to become a crocodile is getting on my nerves. Just when he thought he was building a power base in the Midlands what did the Grandmaster do?

He pulled the rug from under his feet by appointing people from his backyard in the Midlands as ministers. Obviously that would have a bearing on where their loyalties would be.

The Midlands quartet of Jorum Gumbo, Makhosini Hlongwane, Anna Ndlovu and Tapiwa Matangaidze were the beneficiaries.
Now they are being harassed for supporting Amai. Hokoyo Lizard! Stop it!

Don’t you know that its: Munhuwese kuna Amai? You included.

Actually, as I have said before Mr Lizard, you may have more experience compared to me but that does not make you my senior.
If you don’t tow the line you will fall like Joice.

Stop It Joice
I was reading some security updates and I hear Joice has been criss-crossing the country, meeting people in all sorts of areas.

Even former MDC MPs, councillors and serving Zanu PF MPs, Senators and senior officials are part of that Joice nonsense.

I saw another security update which said Joice has been busy sending messages to Lizard and his people saying come and join other genuine war veterans.

I am warning you lizard, Stop it!

Munhuwese kuna Amai!
Umasalu wezwelonke!
Mboko kuna Amai!
Generation 40 Woye!
MaJournalists kuna Amai!
Your Mother
Dr Amai- PhD  (Fake)

For feedback email: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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