A lot can happen inside a week and I am sure you will testify that a lot did indeed happened last week. So there I was, almost ready to surrender power to Lizard Lacoste last week, but two major events helped to turn the tide in my favour.
Letter to my People
The first was the rally which we organised in solidarity with the Supreme Leader for ably chairing the Africa Union in a most revolutionary way. Not that anybody would have failed to chair the AU, but we had to thank Mdhara anyway.
But of course some of you will have also realised that the main reason was to counter those war veterans who were planning to bar some of my boys and girls from attending the politburo meeting.
That was the main reason why the meeting was organised.
The other reason that meeting was organised was to begin the first full assault on Team Lacoste.
Those with sharp memories will remember, this is exactly how we dealt with Joice. Remember poor Didymouse being made to chant “Pasi neGamatox!” when a similar stage-managed rally was held. To his credit, Lacoste read through the plot and only appeared when Mdhara had arrived, completely ruining our plans to humiliate him.
But that did not deter us. We immediately unleashed Cde Sarah on him and she did not hesitate to rip into Lacoste.
The advantage with Grade Two dropouts is they have no limits and before long, she had told Lizard that he was a sitting dhakisi (duck).
Of course, his protestations in the politburo that the rally had been convened to embarrass him fell on deaf ears, including spirited efforts to say after more than 50 years of knowing Mdhara, he would always remain loyal.
The second major event was the anti-Lizard Dhakisi rally in Chiweshe. If you believe the horse manure that the rallies are meant to enable me to appreciate the effects of El Niño blah, blah, blah, then you need your head examined.
Children, this second phase of Operation Ngwena is the one in which we will finish him off.
Like I once pointed out to you, it is important for you to pay attention to us, including Mboko. That man, who to my relief, has stopped wearing double-breasted suits, has interesting ideas.
He has in the past correctly said there would be nothing amiss with a Ndebele or woman ruling this country. Last week he made another radical statement — that just because a Zezuru is in power, it did not follow that the next leader should be a Karanga.
Anyway, back to Chiweshe where the gloves were slowly being removed.
As I promised, next time we will be naming people for their misdeeds. When I started with my rallies in 2014, you thought Joice was something special until I demystified her.
Cde Sarah has already started demystifying the crocodile and when I move in next time, it will be to banish him completely from our party.
I am sure it is not lost on you that after the anti-Ngwena rally in Chiweshe, Cde Mandy immediately called for a press conference, indicating that Cde Chris was no longer leader of war veterans. Of course, his wife — who was a problem in the Women’s League — was also suspended.
Two big Lacoste fans down in one fell swoop.
It doesn’t really matter if the whole thing was illegal, the thing is he has been suspended. Soon Lizard Ngwena will be forming his own political party: People Second. Kkkkkkkk!
Watch this space. The next meeting will be a thriller.
PS. Please note that there is no truth to rumours being fuelled by Joice and Lacoste that G40 stands for Gushungo 40!
Goodness me, that is a very poor and cheap propaganda which is not sophisticated.
Munhu wese kuna Amai!
Mboko kuna Amai!
Gay 40 Woye!