Today I thought before I address you, I should deal with that weakling called Jacob Zuma.
LETTER TO MY PEOPLE BY DOCTOR STOP IT
Dear Jacob,
I am sure like everybody in the world, you know me as the power behind the throne of Africa’s Icon. Or it the thrown? I know you are a self-taught man who does not care about figures or numbers. Actually, what I mean is that the world knows you can’t count.
But I am sure you can count your wives and their children.
I won’t mention gross behaviour like taking a shower after sex to reduce chances of HIV infection.
Now Jacob, I am very concerned about developments in that country of yours 20 years after independence. You people talk of South Africa having attained democracy but I will stick to independence.
More than 20 years after, I am told you have to be answerable to judges and Members of Parliament.
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I am told there are judges that ruled that you failed to protect the Constitution.
Goodness me Jacob. Are those judges leftovers from the apartheid era? Don’t you have brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, nephews, nieces, family friends, girlfriends even, that you can appoint to the judiciary?
That way, all important judgements will always be in your favour. That is because invariably, judgements can always be discussed and finalised over family get-togethers or dinner.
You are a disappointment to real African leadership where you have an independent judiciary which comes up with unfavourable and unrevolutionary judgements.
This will reflect badly on your legacy and other African leaders.
Why don’t you borrow from some revolutionaries who share borders with you? Have you never heard the African Icon declare that we don’t respect judgements that we don’t like? Don’t you know that some of us fired white Rhodesian judges and indigenised our judiciary?
I know you are still having problems with acquiring your land, but if you have any problems with your judges, you may want to give them farms and plasma television sets, generators, laptops and a few trinkets. It has worked wonders for some of us.
Even more disgusting is the fact that you are being given sleepless nights over a small figure such a $16 million for building a swimming pool at Nkandla and other things such as a cattle kraal and other security considerations. What world are your people, the South Africans, living in?
In Zimbabwe we cannot account for $15 billion and your people give you sleepless nights over small change like $16 million? Here our people are very silent, which means they know that as leaders, it is quite possible to fail to account for small figures such as $15 billion.
You see, Jacob, Zimbabweans have no problem with the fact that the $15 billion would have paid off all our international debts which stand at just over $9 billion.
The balance would have been enough to finance all our budgetary requirements with extra to spare! They are all silent because they are highly educated, so there will be no demonstrations.
We don’t allow people to march in our country. Even war veterans who made us what we are and freed us from colonial bondage are not allowed to assemble without permission from me.
If they do, they invite tear smoke and water cannons. However, I have cleared one million youths who are planning to march in solidarity with me in May.
What this proves Jacob is that Zimbabwe is not a poor country. It has enough resources to look after its people and develop to a first world status.
But we leave all that to Europeans and Americans while local resources are channelled towards more important projects such as building mansions. At least you have built a mansion for yourself, well done Cde Shower.
I also received information that there was a debate on impeaching you? Jacob, do you want to start some Arab Spring in southern Africa? How can you allow unrevolutionary things like that to happen?
Here some misguided Members of Parliament tried to boo the Icon of Africa in Parliament. They started claiming that they had been threatened by unknown people. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! So please, no more spineless reactions to potential threats to your throne. There may be a ripple effect within the region and some of us will be fielding our candidate, who at 94 will be the wisest president in the world in 2018. That is all for today.
Meeting with war vets
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn! What a waste of time. So now you understand why some of my boys have called them taxi drivers and drunkards. Ok, they displayed portraits of the other woman, but what did they achieve?
But you heard for yourselves that they did not have a national agenda. They wanted farms, stands, positions and personal gain. But I told you they would melt in the presence of the Icon of Africa.
They were busy ululating and cheering him. But Mudhara is not happy with Chris and I am sure you noticed he was not acknowledged.
Now that they have been addressed and will as usual be ignored, we now turn our attention to the proper frank discussions. After the meeting of 10 000 people, wait until one million eager and hungry youths invade Harare.
Munhuwese kuna Amai! Umasalu wezwelonke! Hokoyo Chris! Ph.D (Fake) l Feedback: [email protected]
