HomeEditorial CommentSecond-hand Japanese mega deals

Second-hand Japanese mega deals

I have been laughing my head off since I thought of the topic of my address to you.

LETTER TO MY PEOPLE BY DOCTOR STOP IT

I was wondering just what to throw at you when I remembered that we must by now have broken the world record for signing dysfunctional “mega deals”.

In case you missed the story, it was reported that some mega deals had been signed with some Japanese organisations.

Essentially, the mega deals will see “new and reconditioned” vehicles and thousands of tractors being shipped to Zimbabwe.

According to The Horror newspaper, the mega deals will result in foreign direct investment. The companies involved cannot be named, well because they signed agreements not to talk about the deal for now.

Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!!

I love you Zimbabweans for your ability to wait while your leaders make such bold decisions to lead in the fight against white imperialist and supremacist sanctions.

It is reported what will happen under the deal is what economists call foreign direct investment.

Well, let us just start by agreeing that “reconditioned” could mean the same as “second-hand”.

In other words, the mega deals could essentially be about importing used Japanese vehicles for resale in Zimbabwe, right? Maybe not.

And when money is sent to Japan to buy second-hand vehicles, does it amount to foreign direct investment or capital flight?

But you will be happy to know that the Japs will also set up a plant for reconditioning cars in Zimbabwe. Now that’s innovation for you.

Sort of reminds me when three very senior government ministers attended the launch of a machine for filling pot holes in Harare.

You should not worry about why certain sections of the mega deals cannot be mentioned.

One member of the trade delegation has been generous to the Ruining Family and built a house dedicated to the iconic and revolutionary family.

So, we should all expect trillions of US dollars flowing into our country with Europeans sneaking in as economic refugees in search of a better life.

Still on the mega deals, I am sure the people from Dangote have finished “finalising logistics” over the last several months to enable his billions to start flowing into Zimbabwe.

Again, when his billions start flowing into the country, Americans and Canadians will flock to our country as migrant labourers.

But the ace in the pack still remains the mega deals which were presided over by the Dear Brother Supreme Leader.

These are the mega deals signed with China and Russia. When the mega deals are fully operational, there will be money flowing in the clean streets of Zimbabwe and all the foot paths in rural areas.

When will that be? I don’t know, maybe never! Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Leave my in-laws alone          
The media and some people working in the energy sector have been very uncooperative over the last few weeks.
They are behind negative stories about how our in-laws are part of a government project which will result in Zimbabweans having to pay more for their electricity.
Honestly, how do you expect our in-laws to make money other than to squeeze it out of you? Are those not the benefits of close proximity to power?
Surely just because people happen to be related to me, does it mean they should not be in business and make money?
I know some of you will start alleging that the project actually belongs to my daughter, and that the in-laws are just fronting for her, aah, you people enjoy gossip.
But does the Dema electricity project which could have prejudiced you commoners $200 million be a project that belongs to my daughter?
Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. No comment.

Munhuwese kunaAmai!
Umasaluwezwelonke!
Mari kuvakwasha!
G 40 Woyeee!
Unconquerable!
Your Mother
Dr Amai (Fake PhD)

l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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