Greetings from Singapore.
BY DOCTOR STOP IT
Life is good. After those nasty successful stay aways and demonstrations, it is good to reduce stress by engaging in some retail therapy.
Nothing better than blowing a couple of thousand of dollars on clothes, handbags and furniture.
I am in this country for many reasons, including taking my grandson for skero (medical examination). I know most of you assumed that I had come on a routine shopping spree but that was only one of the reasons.
There was no way I was going to hang around with you people behaving like drunken monkeys. Do you expect me and my family to feel comfortable when you are rioting and saying nasty things about your leaders?
Munopenga!! You are crazy!!
So I just told Dhara that we needed a short holiday, you never know.
In any case, after that now meddlesome Makandiwa made a prophesy that the next leader of Zimbabwe would come from the Diaspora, I was left with no option but to quickly dash into the Diaspora and wait. You never know.
But I have a warning to most of you lazy people who think Facebook and Twitter can be used to destabilise the leadership of the Dear Brother Supreme Leader.
Never mislead yourselves. We still have a mandate to complete in 2018, by which time the Dear Brother Supreme Leader will be 94.
He is prepared to be your candidate for another five-year term, which he will complete when he is 99.
By this time, he will be as fit as 99 fiddles.
So take a break for the next seven years before you start hallucinating about moving into State House.
I am aware of the silly messages that are circulating on social networks about the fact that the Dear Brother Supreme Leader and Iconic African Revolutionary and myself are outside the country and that gives you an opportunity for mischief.
He-he when the cat is away. He-he the whole family is abroad. Munopenga! You are crazy! Not with this mahomuhomu! [of the monkey totem]
In fact, I have now decided to ban social media because of the bad jokes you make about your First Family. The other day somebody was busy offending the Iconic Revolutionary by saying he failed to protect $15 billion but his government was wasting resources looking for one lost police helmet and a “button” stick.
The adventures of Mboko
Are the reports on Hotel Mboko true! That he is still staying in a hotel? That in gangster style action, he descended on a police station and rescued “my boys” who were facing serious charges on issues to do with honesty?
That as a result “my boys” failed to appear in court?
Well, I see nothing wrong with that. What is the point of being in power if you don’t stay in five- star hotels at the expense of the masses. If your boys are caught being naughty, what’s the point of being in power if you cannot mount a rescue operation? That malicious attitude is what is making some people become jealous of some energy and power deals being organised for our in-laws. Munopenga!
I love Moregirls Tsvangson for the simple reason that he is a fast learner and always manages to deflect attention from the Iconic Revolutionary. He patronises foreign expensive hospitals like our family. He also loves Zanu PF daughters.
Last week the circus was in town and Morgiza announced the appointment of two vice-presidents. So while our party has two vice-presidents, Morgiza has three!
Just as our party is clearly a Mashonaland West project, there was no doubt that equally, his party is a Masvingo project. The chap may call himself a Buhera person, but the Gutu links are well known.
Let’s just say he is a Manicaland boy but to then announce two deputies from one province is hardly intelligent, is it? Poor Thokozani is now marooned with no chance of taking over.
Or maybe Morgiza was making a strong statement to Mboko who famously said it did not follow that the next leader of Zimbabwe would be a Karanga. Interesting times ahead.
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