My People, So when I said you would be ruled from the grave you thought I was bluffing, right?
letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT
Some of you have already started saying the airport statement about pulling out of the United Nations was a sign that you were being ruled from the grave.
Come on, that’s too early. Remember I said we would first need to put him in a wheelchair then a wheel barrow. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkiest! I am sure you must have received the mother of all shocks when the African Revolutionary Icon declared that he would withdraw you from the United Nations.
Today, rather than say what you are used to, I will speak some truth to power.
Not because I care about you, but because I can. After all, did he not announce publicly at the congress in 2014 that even at home I tell him to stop talking when he engages in those horribly long rambling and boring monologues. We will not mention the fact that the Iconic African Revolutionary Dear Brother Comrade Supreme Leader withdrew us from the Commonwealth where many Zimbabweans lost out on scholarships and other benefits.
While we were grandstanding to the gallery about our pull-out, non-English speaking countries like Mocambique, Rwanda and Cameroon were gleefully accepting or seeking membership.
I am sure you remember the famous statement by James Chikerema which I have generally dismissed with contempt. Or could there be elements of truth in that rather scandalous allegation?
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Legend has it, according to Chikerema, that when the Icon was a young boy growing up in the village and herding his mother’s cows and goats, he did not take kindly to people that disagreed with him.
Village boys generally group their herds together and take turns to drive straying livestock back into the fold. This is not a pleasant chore as it would leave others enjoying a game, usually football.
The young studious Icon, according to legend, always preferred to read books rather than play with other boys. Any disagreement with him would result in many tantrums and lots of toys being thrown out of the pram. Finally he would withdraw his cows from the collective herd and herd them alone.
After the Commonwealth pullout and the UN speech at the airport, Chikerema’s stories need to be looked at again. But I digress. Poor George must have cringed when the statement was made at the airport. He must be so miserable these days, not too sure what the Icon will say if allowed uninterrupted access to the microphone.
You can’t take any chances. Even I have to hold his hands all the time to ensure he does not plunge headlong into the red carpet.
Anyway, back to ensuring the Icon’s mistakes are not amplified.
Of course, poor George will only be doing his job. Pretending that the Revolutionary did not say he would withdraw Zimbabwe from the United Nations.
Kkkkkkk! I guess he also needs to convince people that the Icon did not read the same speech twice in Parliament. He needs to convince sceptics that the Icon did not chant: “Pasi ne Zanu PF!”
The Icon unwittingly revealed that more than $15 billion was looted from diamond revenue during his watch.
The opposition has now started demanding answers such as how so much money could have disappeared under his watch and who should take the blame for letting the country lose so much money.
Sort of reminds me of the time when Moregirls Tsvangson was at his ravishing peak like a young bull. When he really used to go for girls and make them cry. I remember his party and personal spokespersons living on the edge and running out of excuses to deny or attempt to hide their boss’s transgressions.
Anyway I digress as I always do. Maybe that is why the government tried to explain what the Revolutionary Icon was trying or attempting to say or actually said.
That the United Nations is the one keeping Zimbabwe afloat is not in doubt.
With more than 4 million rural Zimbabweans facing starvation, it is essentially the United Nations family which is mobilising food from donors to ensure that Zimbabweans do not die from food shortages.
Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Most of southern and eastern Africa has been equally hit by El Niño.
Ha-ha-ha-ha! And we are the only country not adequately prepared for food shortages. Even so- called dessert countries like Botswana are not mourning. Where are our strategists who should ensure that our grain reserves have enough food to ensure that after one or two bad seasons, we would still remain food secure?
Bias in Ngwena’s favour
I continue to point out to some bias in favour of crocodhakisi in government and against Mboko. Maybe the fact that he was handpicked by the Icon in defiance of a Zapu recommendation for SK Moyo to be vice-president has made him a lame duck.
Ngwena is the leader of government business while Mboko’s duties include being my praise singer at my world famous rallies. Ngwena is in charge of the bigger command agriculture which has failed before it even takes off, while Mboko is busy distributing chicks around the country. But wait for an earthquake from the Women’s League which will peel Ngwena’s thick skin. I hope you heard what happened at the meeting on Friday.
Munhuwese kuna Amai!
Umasaluwezwelonke!
Dr Amai Marujata PhD (Fake)
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