It is unheard of to celebrate the demise of an icon

Obituaries
My world was plunged into mourning after receiving reports that our friend, brother, Fidel Castro, the commander, founder and leader of the Cuban revolution had died at the age of 90.

My People, My world was plunged into mourning after receiving reports that our friend, brother, Fidel Castro, the commander, founder and leader of the Cuban revolution had died at the age of 90.

letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

The late Fidel Castrol
The late Fidel Castrol

Like Africa’s iconic revolutionary who is resident in Zimbabwe but spends most of his time receiving medical treatment  in Singapore, brother Fidel bravely freed his people from bondage.

Actually, some unpatriotic people have had the audacity to suggest that the Dear Comrade Brother  Supreme African  Iconic Revolutionary Leader spends most of his time in the air or in foreign lands. That he only visits Zimbabwe for change of clothes. They use the example of when he gallantly left that useless meeting for Sadc leaders which took place in Swaziland and arrived in Harare to change his suits before flying out after a few hours on a private, personal, family jaunt to Dubai.

That is what we call very firm, unyielding and revolutionary African leadership.

Of course, Cde Castro had been unwell for years, which had forced him to hand over power in 2008 to the only trusted person that he knew — his brother Raul.

That makes perfect sense to me.

It’s like expecting The Bobster to hand over power to Ngwena or anybody else whom we may not have absolute faith in.

The natural thing would be to hand over power to our daughter and her husband.

But that will not happen because Mudhara at 92 is as fit as 92 fiddles.

So fit will he be that at the ripe age of 94, he will reluctantly accept the responsibility of representing the revolutionary party as its presidential candidate in 2018. When that term ends, he will be 99 years old and will be ready to write his memoirs and go into retirement.

What we are not understanding is why Cde Raul Castro, who is a sprightly 85 years old and has ruled for only eight years wants to hand over power next year.

Does he not know that the country will collapse if commoners and ordinary people take over?

I think a special envoy will have to be dispatched by Mudhara to Raul to remind him that handing over power is very unrevolutionary.

Revolutionaries take power and ensure they retain it for ever through family and cronies.

Worried by celebrations over Castro death

I was equally disturbed to hear that in certain parts of the world people were celebrating the death of Cde Fidel. What is wrong with people? Don’t they know that he has a family that would be offended at the sight of people celebrating the death of the revolutionary.

Of course, that is very alien behaviour which we don’t expect from people in southern Africa or Zimbabwe. There is no way decent people would celebrate the death of a fellow human being.

But I do remember there were some people many years ago in this country who celebrated the death of an African president after he was gunned down by his aide.

We all hope that was the end of such alien behaviour.

I am world famous

I have always told you that my weekly address has become world famous and that millions of my followers are getting in touch through email and other platforms. I really don’t care what Ngwena and company, including Joice, will think, but the messages below are enough proof that I am unconquerable!

Read the messages which I received from my followers.

*You guys at The Standard are doing a good job. I like these articles from Doctor Amai — Mr Never

*Hi Dr Amai. Throughout my years of journalism, I must applaud you. You are the master of the art of satirical dices with precision. I like your publications in  The Standard, they remind me of the book Sungai Mbabvu. Munhu wese kuna Amai! — Cde Ray.

*Dear Mhamha. I am starving, I crave for yoghurt. Not just any yoghurt but the ones from Alpha and Omega dairy in Mazowe. I can’t put any other yoghurt in my mouth except yours, but I can’t find it anywhere. Maybe hoarding has already started ahead of the introduction of bond notes? I can’t even find my favourite milk from your dairy. Are your cows on stayaway? — Bhule

*Dear Doctor Amai, I read your good articles in The Standard and I laughed my lungs out. Well done, Amai Doctor Marujata! — Bobo

*Amai. I am looking for help as I am a university drop-out and unemployed. You can send me cash if you like. But as usual, I don’t expect to get anything from you. — Ms Charm

My response to the above is basic. Munopenga! Liyahlanya!

Next week I will update you about a gunner who works for a vernacular newspaper in Harare who is now stalking prominent people, including musicians and workmates.

Management is afraid to discipline him for sexual harassment.

He has been name-dropping a lot, including claiming to be related to me and some senior military people. He is a big liar but manages to scare many people.   Munhu wese kuna Amai!

Umasalu wezwelonke!

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