My People, I thought you should know that we are having a time of our lives at your expense. The Bobster, The African Iconic Revolutionary is enjoying his annual leave.
letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT
For security reasons, I will not reveal where we are holidaying. We may end up having a scenario where people like Lacoste and Lachicks Mboko end up rocking up at our holiday retreat and disturbing our peace.
Of course, the cleverer ones (and I must add there aren’t too many of them among you) will make intelligent guesses that Dubai will be one of the destinations.
I am really stressed after my efforts to externalise more than a million bucks to Dubai failed. Instead of protecting me, the courts opted to protect a foreigner. I sense Ngwena’s interfering hand somewhere somehow.
As I once said, that little issue about externalisation can hardly be something to make noise about.
Given the way some rascals have been baying for my blood, I think it’s prudent for a gal like me to salt away some money in Dubai or Singapore in case our little plan to take over from The Bobster fails.
So, as I was saying, the more intelligent ones will guess that we will be in Dubai to check out our salted fortune and also hop over to Singapore for some medical checks. Everybody will be there, in laws included.
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Of course The Bobster being a man who just loves flying all over the world will not allow travel opportunities to pass by.
So don’t be surprised when occasionally we return home to catch the odd flight to East Africa or other parts of the world during the vacation.
In case you did not know, going on the trips has its own monetary benefits, zvinebhegi! Kulesaka! Still on the Dear Supreme Comrade Brother African Iconic Revolutionary, I am surprised that most of you have been watching a clearly manipulated video which purports to show the gallant revolutionary failing to plant a tree.
Comrades, nothing could be further from the truth. For a person who sprinted to Mozambique and single-handedly liberated the country from the whites, how could he fail to plant a tree? I suspect Joice and her partner, Moregirls Tsvangson are the ones behind the video.
What do you mean on Gukurahundi, Lacoste?
I am not very comfortable with some of the interviews that Lacoste has been granting in the media of late.
What makes me uncomfortable is that Mudhara’s hand is being revealed in that period which he has described as a moment of madness.
Clearly the victims of Gukurahundi were not mad, so who was mad? Back to Ngwena, in an interview with a British publication, he denied any involvement saying he could not have been the Gukurahundi enforcer when there was a president, minister of defence and army commander.
For years, the Icon has managed to keep his name away from the genocide, although many have quietly whispered that as prime minister and minister of Defence, staying clear of the madness would have been difficult.
Keep your Unity Day and we will keep our vacation
The euphoria of arm-twisting Big Josh and Zapu into submission seems to be wearing off on Mudhara.
This is because he appears to be no longer interested in commemorating the day.
Of course, we left that to ordinary people like you to commemorate while we got on the plane for our long-awaited expensive holiday.
So there you are, unity day was all about securing total power and nothing else. Forget those revolutionary empty and hollow blandishments about the need for people to be united blah blah blah.
That is just a tool for retaining power, authority and of course recourses such as the $15 billion from diamonds which “disappeared”.
End of Year
I have received many enquiries about where the Chibondo exhibition is taking place. This has mainly been from academics studying genocide. Well, to answer you, according to Dead BC, the exhibition is taking place at the National Heroes Acre museum.
Finally, I would like to wish you all except Joice and Moregirls happy holidays. I know it will be difficult to be happy given your high levels of poverty but I am sure you are now used to it.
I am told teachers will be paid after Christmas. Shame. Well, it is time for relaxing. I will not be able to address you every week as the whole family will also be getting medical assessments. Anybody with a problem with that? Munopenga! Liyahlanya!
Munhu wese kuna Amai!
Umasalu wezwelonke!
Dr Amai Marujata PhD (Fake)
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