My People, I had to write this weekly address from the confines of a very expensive hospital, where I accompanied a certain Brother Comrade African Iconic Revolutionary Supreme Leader, who hates everything African.
letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT
I find it odd that there is already gossip on how a person, who was on holiday and spent most of his time being treated, returns for a scheduled medical review.
Alarmists in the country, including those rather pesky journalists, were already pressing the panic button, making all sorts of unrevolutionary statements about The Great and Gallant Bobster.
Some even had the tenacity to allege that some people were receiving treatment overseas after developing running tummies because of eating too much cake and imported food at the Matobo birthday shindig.
I suspect some very unpatriotic people in the catering department were responsible for that rather embarrassing incident in which the one and only African Revolutionary was seen by the whole world chomping on potato crisps, Lays, imported straight from the imperialist devils in the USA. (Amereka of all places!)
In addition, there was an array of other imported stuff, including water, of all things.
This was clearly an act of sabotage. Have we all forgotten that in the official monologues that pass off for interviews on Dead BC, the Icon has always stated that he owes his long life to eating traditional African food produced from small grains such as millet, sorghum, vegetables and others.
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Given the rate at which the sabotage is happening, it won’t be long before allegations that he is an ice-cream and T-bone chap.
In fact, we may end up with someone alleging that he has disdain for African food and prefers the English type of meals, complete with English cottage pie.
All lies of course because The Bobster is a simple revolutionary, who eats African foods only.
As a result, after the government banned the importation of certain foods, crisps included, through a statutory instrument in 2016, the impression created was that the people’s leader is not sensitive to the needs of the ordinary people and the industries in his country.
As a result, some people, especially in the MDC and the supporters of Joice Queen Bee, may end up starting some hashtag movement around Lays.
Insensitive people
I can never understand you Zimbabweans completely. How can people try to sabotage a huge human milestone of achieving 90-something years by suggesting the cancellation of such an achievement.
Others suggested that the celebrations needed to be cancelled, as the area was one of the most affected by the ethnic cleansing and genocide conducted by members of the national army.
But true to his resolute leadership, The Bobster told the wayward speakers to go and hang.
Others saw something wrong in being hosted at the venue of colonialists and gay activist, Cecil John Rhodes but the obscene party went ahead.
There was plenty to eat that in some hospitals, people are still being treated for the resultant diarrhoea.
Potholes, cash crisis, cholera and typhoid outbreaks, school dropouts, raw sewage, no medicine in hospitals, unemployment, water cuts, load-shedding and general decline of the lifestyle of Zimbabweans.
All that would not prevent the gallant son of Zimbabwe, who single-handedly freed the entire African continent from racist and white minority rule from the British devils from commemorating his big day.
I know some among you are saying as a result of his misrule, all the problems that Zimbabweans face can be traced back to Zvimba. The year 2017
The year is just two months and some days old and people are already trying to find an appropriate name for the year.
From the last years of the liberation struggle into early independence, each year had a specific name and was received as such.
For example, names and themes such as, year of people’s power, year of national transformation and all other queer things borrowed from dictatorships around the world.
Since I made that epic speech in Buhera, where I said the party would win any election even if it fielded the corpse of The Great Dear Brother, the speech has gone viral with many people manipulating it to suit their own thinking.
As a result, others, who seem to think my statement was loaded with other meanings have suggested we theme this year, The Year of the Corpse.
Another suggestion is that we name it, The Year of Lays or just call it Year of Doctor Amai.
Being Mboko
Cde Mboko is really doing a good job and The Bobster must be very happy after outwitting those Zapu boys and girls like SK and Kembo by hand-picking his boy, Mboko.
Initially Mboko said something to the effect that Gukurahundi was a white conspiracy and did not exist. I am told that he has said its unAfrican to exhume thousands of bodies of people killed during Gukurahundi and give them a decent burial.
We like this boy for he is doing the job he was appointed to do. Please let him do his job people and let’s not have silly questions like, is it African to murder people and bury them in mass graves?
Can you imagine others are citing examples that Herbert Chitepo was reburied at the National Heroes Acre after being buried in Zambia in 1975.
Others are even trying to cause confusion by saying how come the bones in Chibondo in Mt Darwin, Mashonaland Central were exhumed and given decent burials while all Mboko wants for his homeboys and homegirls killed during Operation Gukurahundi is a sign post.
Other not so helpful people are pointing at the fact that the skulls of Mbuya Nehanda and others, who were taken to Britain as war trophies, will be reburied in Zimbabwe during lavish ceremonies.
Please let Mboko do his work.
Munhuwese kuna Amai! Umasalu wezwelonke! Dr Amai Stopit! PhD (Fake)
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