My People Please let’s not pretend you were not warned. Let’s not have people feigning surprises.
letter to my people letter to my people
Were you not warned that the Supreme Leader would rule us from a wheelchair then subsequently rule us from a wheelbarrow?
Were you not told he would rule us from the grave because in the whole country, nobody can rule like the Dear Elder brother leader? I remember saying this at the million-man march.
Finally, because he is surrounded by incompetent cowards, the party would be fielding a corpse in all future elections. Did I not say this in Buhera?
So it was all very alarming to me when you all lost your minds following the donation of a pen, a watch and a “massage chair” to The Bobster last week.
The Pope moves around in a vehicle called The Popemobile and there is no reason why The Bobster should not have his own Bobsmobile.
As Andy Brown sang all those years ago, the Cabinet donated a real muzvambarara of a cart. Soon we will get a real wheelchair with wheels.
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Most of you were asking unproductive questions like what the “massage chair” was supposed to massage.
We do not respond to such security sensitive questions.
I strongly suspect the real reason for the donation was to hand over the “wheelchair”. The pen and watch were just thrown in as a way of diverting attention from the real issue.
It looks like some members of the cabinet are now beginning to think The African Icon is now a welfare and wheelchair case.
As I was analysing the wheelchair issue using my rarely used brain, I began to suspect that those people were sending a message to The Bobster.
The message appears to be that he should now take a rest because he is no longer capable of doing his work.
Those clever young regime change activists would end up consulting the constitution about the use of wheelchairs and could end up raising unhelpful issues of incapacitation.
The real story lies behind the smart alec who suggested the massage wheelchair as a present and why the social welfare minister was asked to lead the process.
I used Lacoste to eject Sarah and Sandi
Hahahahaaaa! So Ngwena and his friends thought they were clever by sponsoring those unconvincing demonstrations against Tyson.
The problem with those people is that sometimes they behave as if they don’t have thinkers in their gang.
It was so obvious that the media controlled by that faction was being used to mobilise the demonstrators against Sarah, Sandi and Tyson. And have we not seen similar neatly written placards at national events?
Anyway, despite Lacoste’s spirited efforts to soil Tyson, The Bobster pulled the rug from under their feet when he told them that demonstrations were not the way that we do things in our party.
This was just after I had coordinated demonstrations against Comrades Sarah and Sandi!
They resigned in disgrace immediately after the demonstrations and the politburo accepted their resignations and demanded that they reimburse the money.
This made it very obvious that the real reason for the fights among the women’s league had nothing to do with that nonsense about undermining anybody’s authority.
It was a fight about money. Money from profiteering prophets. In any case, I had always found it odd that primary school dropouts could be allocated senior positions in The Party when they were semi-literate and could not count.
Was it Jabulani Sibanda and Chris Mutsvangwa who hinted something about power being sexually transmitted?
What gross language!
Well, they were not too far from the mark, according to some of you. Without belabouring the point, I used those Lacoste desperados to achieve my goals of ejecting Sarah and Sandi.
I had them drooling after I allowed them to accuse Sarah and Sandi of undermining Ngwena and little George.
But when the dust had settled, my targets, Sarah and Sandi had been ejected while Lacoste’s target, Tyson was solidly protected by The Bobster in the Politburo and central committee meetings.
Who manufactures police spikes?
The other day, I was being driven around the city of Harare. I was amazed by the number of officers on the roads. I have heard many of you wishing for more police patrols in high density suburbs to prevent crime. Munopenga! You are mad!
The police have every reason to be on the roads just like anybody. I was very curious to know just who manufactures those spikes used on the roads.
Was the manufacture and supply of spikes put to tender? Or does each cop manufacture his own spikes? Who is responsible for sharpening the spikes to ensure they catch many errant drivers?
Kkkkkkkkk! I could not help thinking about issues? It’s like wanting to tax Zimbabweans to death while the ruling elite are protected from taxation.
Wise words from Dr Amai
Let me end by giving you some very, very wise words: “As government, we have made a rather shocking discovery that all the orphans in the country have no parents!” Munhuwese kuna Amai! Umasalu wezwelonke! Dr Amai Stopit! PhD (Fake)
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