HomeOpinion & AnalysisCivilians and mujibhas awarding hero status!

Civilians and mujibhas awarding hero status!

My People,
I think it would be irresponsible of me if I do not speak about the issue of the hero status of the late Cde Chinx or the lack of it.

letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

You saw me paying condolences at the family house dressed in my fashionable clothes bought in New York recently where I had gone for shopping.

This time I did not go with a very wide mouth and a completely shut mind as I did the last time.

For those with very poor memories (and there are many of you) who don’t remember what happened last time, I will refresh your blank minds.

Essentially, I tried to be clever by engaging in a public catfight with Cde Chinx’s second wife, telling her that the house being handed over to their husband was not hers.

Cde Chinx immediately pointed out that he had two wives which was public knowledge and would by implication not allow his second wife Ntombizodwa, to be ridiculed.

Others later whispered in my ear that the second wife was actually my namesake.

A few suggested I was not so innocent myself, having been accused of snatching the elderly husband of a bed-ridden woman and siring children out of wedlock with him.

Allegations which are completely false of course. My situation was different, very different.

The Chingaira family, however, said they did not have issues with the polygamous set-up and were blissfully happy.

Back to the hero status, there is debate that attending a party hosted by Joice may have cost him the “appropriate” status.

Some war veterans believe the politburo is full of mujibhas, chimbwidos and civilians with no idea of the war.

As a result, people wearing suits who are recommending national hero status are sidelining real freedom fighters, argue the former guerrillas. Ask Comrade Chinoz.
Who started command ugly-culture?

Just who started with the idea of Command Agriculture which has taken the country by storm? Initially, it was attributed to Ngwena amid hopes that it would be a spectacular failure so that he could be blamed for poor performance.

As the country continued receiving good rains and everything pointed to hugely improved harvests, “command ugly-culture” was reported to have been the brainchild of the Icon, Africa’s only Revolutionary Dear Brother Comrade Supreme Leader, The Great Bobster.

Imagine my pleasant surprise when the Ngwena-controlled public media started saying “command ugly-culture” was my idea! There are interesting developments in the party.

Only Bob and myself are allowed to address people at those unproductive youth interface rallies while Dread Zhuwao also asked me to play some role of handing out certificates at a Day of African Child commemoration in Harare.
Watch out Ngwena!

Tyson going nowhere

Those planning and strategising for the dismissal of Cde Tyson to be kicked out of the party should continue dreaming.

The owners of the party, The Bobster and Me have other ideas. We cant weaken our faction by ejecting our strongest member.

What if he has been instructed by the owners to set up the alleged parallel structures? You people really do not understand The Boster. Kkkkk! Anyway, The Bobster is digesting the issue, to quote Comrade SK.
Why we love the opposition

There are reports that chefs looted close to $600 million from the government. Another strategy to tax you to death via some dubious Road Levy is being implemented.

And where is our wonderful revolutionary opposition? Fighting over positions in a non-existent coalition. Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Treasonous Behaviour

Authoritarian leaders crave or demand applause. In Stalin’s Russia, just as in Saddam Hussein’s Iraq or in North Korea today, the failure to clap enthusiastically can be punished as a grave crime.

In the former Soviet republic of Belarus, that principle was turned on its head.

Protesters applauded the president — and the authorities locked them up for doing so.

There aren’t many reasons to applaud Alexander Lukashenko, who has been described as “Europe’s last dictator”.
(Belarus provides mining equipment, sometimes faulty, to Zimbabwe.

Therefore, the enthusiastic applause that took place on a weekly basis for several months in 2011 must have been seeking to mock him.

In response to this outbreak of disloyal loyalty, the authorities banned all applause.

Those who continued to clap were arrested for ‘hooliganism’. (The authorities cast their net wide: one of those arrested for illegal clapping only had one arm.)

Even presidential yes-men, usually first to jump up with their “stormy applause”, sat silent while the president spoke, in case their clapping might be perceived as arrestable irony.

Source: Street Spirit: the power of protest and mischief

Munhuwese kunaGire!

Umasalu wezwelonke!

Dr Amai Stopit! PhD (Fake)

Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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