Destroying the party from inside

Obituaries
I was so shocked by the celebratory tones which followed my freak accident at the Harare International Airport after my recent shopping trip to Singapore.

My People I was so shocked by the celebratory tones which followed my freak accident at the Harare International Airport after my recent shopping trip to Singapore.

letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

The ‘diesel ministers’ in Chinhoyi
The ‘diesel ministers’ in Chinhoyi

As you will no doubt have noticed, I do not accompany Bhobho when he goes to useless countries where the prospects of retail therapy are non-existent.

There I was, walking  in my  recently-acquired Singaporean step and rehearsing how to get into the First Car when I become your president in future.

To my disgust, the First Car pulled off, causing me to land in a rather undignified manner.

I really miss Jonso in the ministry of information. He would have come up with something colourful and imaginative to describe the incident.

He would have said something like I broke my fall when I was about to crash land.

Our airport has become very notorious as this is where Bhobho The Bobster took a headlong plunge into the red carpet while on a visit to Zimbabwe, given that he spends most of his time outside the country.

Some have gone as far as calling him a non-resident president.

Maybe Teurairopa and Moregirls Morgiza have been sprinkling juju and performing rituals with tadpoles and chickens at night at our airport.

Keep on dreaming Ngwena and company

Some time ago, I revealed to you that there was a feeling that G40 was either Gushungo 40 or Gire 40.

All that should have become very clear just before the politburo meeting when The Bobster and myself walked in and performed the usual ritual of greeting all those awestruck people.

I am sure you must have noticed the ear to ear grins and pleasantries exchanged by Jonso and Bhobho while I was also beaming on the side.

Of course later, the same Jonso would later rip into the hapless Ngwena in the meeting over succession machinations.

I know some Lacoste people have been making dark allegations to the effect that Jonso was sent by The Old Man to torpedo Ngwena.

Which brings me to my point. Given the investment made by Lacoste and his gangsters in their project to remove Tyson, time must surely be running out or has run out completely. Tyson faces charges of creating parallel structures and of planning to topple Bob.

Let’s face it, anybody who threatens to or aspires to replace Bob, including through legal means, usually finds themselves facing treason charges or different types of grief. Joshua Nkomo, Ndabaningi Sithole, Morgan Tsvangirai and others went through such processes.

Poor Joice was expelled for what later turned out to be witchcraft charges!

The same Bob who made witchcraft charges against Joice presided over a cabinet which was woodwinked by a grade 2 drop out traditional healer into believing that pure diesel could ooze out of a rock.

The picture of cabinet ministers crouching before a traditional healer with no shoes has become legendary.

The “discovery” was treated as a high security issue that a Cabinet committee made up of security ministers was dispatched to witness the find of the century. Poor Kembo Mohadi who is now State Security minister, Sidney Sekeramayi, touted as a possible Mugabe replacement and Didymus Mutasa have interesting tales to tell about their experiences.

Anyway, I digress. What this means is that Tyson is going nowhere for now. If he was meant to go, that would have happened a long time ago. I told The Bobster that I will not allow him or Lacoste to fire Tyson.

My other boys, Mboko and Jonso, including my nephew, Dread Zhuwawo, have been very supportive.   Serious business

So a lot of very, very old men and women come from all corners of the country for a meeting. Because their meetings influence how the country is governed, it is the view of many that serious business is conducted.

But Alas! The old men and women spend time making accusations of who is a spy and who is not and who is scheming to be president and who is not.

Next they will be discussing how many Zimbabweans are able to sneeze with their eyes wide open!

We are doing our best to destroy the party from inside, I guess. Pity Joice and Morgiza are not able to take advantage.

Munhuwese KunaGire!

Umasalu wezwelonke!

Dr Amai Stopit! Ph.D (Fake)

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