My People, The last week was very traumatic for G40 leader, Bhobho as he came face to face with the level of incompetence among the Gay 40 crew.
After we successfully arm-twisted him to throw out veterans of international diplomacy during our recent cabinet reshuffle, Bhobho and his lot were left with plenty of egg on their faces.
After campaigning to give Gushungo some symbolic position about leading the fight against non-communicable diseases (NCDs), the World Health Organisation (WHO) decided to withdraw the offer following an outcry from Zimbabweans and international organisations.
The first reason for the outcry was that at soon-to-be 94, surely The Bobster can’t do any meaningful work in that area.
If anything, he should be retired and get to know his children and wife more, teaching them how to behave in public.
The other reason for the collective anger and dismay with the WHO was how it could award such an honour to a man who has shown disdain and contempt for local health institutions as he blows millions of US dollars in tax payers’ money, while receiving medical treatment in Singapore.
Meanwhile, his compatriots die unnecessarily because they cannot afford basic health care.
Surely, receiving medical treatment in foreign hospitals cannot be confused with championing the fight against NCDs, Cde Tedros of WHO.
Others felt that because as a country, Zimbabwe has provided refuge to Colonel Mengistu Hail Mariam for murdering his people as happened in Gukurahundi ethnic cleansing, surely the country cannot be honoured with titles which are reserved for normal countries.
Next thing WHO will be anointing Kim Jong Un and the generals in Myanmar as ambassadors of this disease or the other.
Of course, we are aware of the low level campaigns that were conducted, including during a recent meeting in Victoria Falls, where some health ministers were doing some lobbying for the post.
Simply put, Bhobho wasted the country’s money (as he always does) to go and receive a non-existent “feather in his cap” as The Horrid crowed nauseatingly.
He should have stayed at home and attended to his burning country like any normal president would do.
In the end, it was left to poor Charamba to clean up the mess created by the pretty boys.
Festival of hate goes to Byo
After having successfully captured Bhobho through a bedroom coup, we are now unstoppable.
The prosecutor general has been told that he can no longer call himself by that name after I told Bhobho to reverse that appointment.
I will not have anybody rightly or wrongly suspected to be a Lacoste holding any important job in the country.
That would prevent me from doing as I please with this teapot shaped country and The Party of course.
In The Party, I have just flexed my beautiful but dangerous muscles after I told the captive, Bhobho, to cause the suspension of Ngwena’s supporters in Masvingo and Midlands.
I am not finished with my purpose in The Party.
As the next edition of the festival of hate moves to Bulawayo, they better start behaving themselves or I will embarrass big men and women there.
If they don’t believe it is possible, they should ask the people of Mashonaland West and Central who are still quacking in their boots after I threw flames of napalm at them.
Of course, Bhobho was sleeping and snoring throughout as I harangued people, including his spokesman.
He did not need to watch the episode as he had authored it at home and coached me throughout the rehearsals, also conducted in the bedroom.
How I wish Jabulani Sibanda had not started that phrase.
Everybody in The Party is now talking of how a “bedroom coup” has been staged and that power is being transmitted sexually.
Even the war veterans are now talking of how a certain southern African president has been captured by his trophy wife and her handlers who are on an assignment funded by the Americans.
Back to Bulawayo, if anybody is busy hobnobbing with Ngwena, they better be on their best behaviour.
I will be on guard to ensure Bhobho does not make ethnic slurs like labelling Kalanga people as being petty thieves in South Africa.
Someone will also need to remind me not to label men from Matabeleland as lazy.
But whatever the case, I don’t care! Munopenga! You are all crazy.
Bob the great African liberator?
I hope the MDC Alliance will show some gratitude when I finally deliver victory to them next year.
The worst case scenario now would be a government of national unity.
Recently, we told the captive Bhobho to order a clearance of vendors from urban areas.
With Bhobho having created those vendors by wreaking a thriving economy while $15 billion was getting “lost”, many say the vendors feel let down.
They feel the revolutionary dear African brotherly iconic comrade is not such a great liberator and hero after all.
Opposition works for us
When you see those clowns in the opposition behaving the way they do, you should always remember that they work for us.
Most of the ones causing the fights get good money for doing their work.
Just wait and see how the alliance will begin to unravel.
Poor Tsvangirai foolishly embraced some political “leaders” who cannot hold a rally attended by more than 10 people. Kkkkkkk, they have more bodyguards than they have supporters. Who do you think pays for those bodyguards? Kkkkkkkk!
And Tsvangson gave them top positions in the alliance. He really needs hand-holding.
Munhuwese kuna Amai!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
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