Recently, I attended a prayer service for a late aunt at the Willowvale branch of a leading funeral parlour. The chaplain, one Mr Ngwenya (if I remember the name correctly,) was leading the short service before we collected the remains of the deceased.
By GLORia NDORO-MKOMBACHOTO
His sermon was focused, surreal and unbelievably perplexing. With a great sense of confidence and finality, he rambled on about “how women were not human beings, that they were created to be helpers, and only to their husbands.” I thought, really, what is informing this man’s thinking?
He repeated it twice. He quoted a verse in the Bible to that effect and proceeded to mention that “women must not work and must just wait to be led and directed by their husbands.” His ramble included his distaste for women who go jogging in the Avenues area in the morning, etcetera.
As my aunt’s body lay in that sealed white coffin, I got a clearer view of how sorrowful platforms like these are hijacked by self-styled clergymen like him, for the sole purpose of propagating their offensive, misogynistic and patriarchal views. Behind me were women and men clapping and loudly agreeing to every mind-boggling disingenuous commentary he spewed about his perceived role of women in our society.
So as I sat quietly choking on my very own rage, it became obvious to me why the majority of women, as they approach their 50s, find themselves either flat broke, financially dependent or financially vulnerable. Many women are unable to leave abusive relationships because they are financially disabled.
It is part of “Zimbabwe Incorporated” ethos, to socialise and acculturate women to be completely dependent on a male figure, a father as a child (here all children have no choice) and then a husband as an adult. In a case where there is no husband, a brother, another person’s husband or a partner is expected to foot the bills. No wonder many young women today are searching for men “with resources” to partner with.
It is risky and dangerous to depend on a man to deliver your standard of living. A balanced and more respectful relationship is when both partners contribute to that mutually agreed to standard of living.
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I have said this before and I will repeat this again now: if you are not demented, deaf, blind or disabled, you have no reason to be financially dependent on another human being. After all, many disabled people across the country are economically productive, so should you.
Being financially dependent on another is like panning for gold in an urban sewer. It is settling for less. It is choosing the low road over the high road and as a woman, you will never achieve financial freedom.
Financial freedom and the security it brings, can be achieved when the income from your assets and investments exceeds your cost structure. While there are numerous ways of achieving financial freedom, below please find four ways of starting your path towards financial security.
l Eliminate debt and reduce your living expenses
It does not matter how much you earn, the point is, if you are not earning more than you are spending, you will never achieve financial security. The principles of personal money management are universal, maximise your income as you minimise your expenditure. As long as you borrow long-term to finance recurrent expenditure, financial freedom is a pie in the sky.
As long as you remain beholden to overdraft facilities, credit card debt, car loans, loans to finance consumption of household goods and so on, you are not financially free. Your bank or the money lending institution that advances you loans, owns you. It is oft wise to spend what you have than to rely on short- term loans.
If you have given him a licence to rule over you and agreed to languish at home, clueless about the financial decisions that impact your household, please pay close attention to next point.
l Be part of the financial decision-making process
There is one issue that women ought to be top of mind about – the financial decision-making process. If you are in a matrimonial setting or in a long-term relationship, it is important to ensure that you embed yourself in the financial planning process.
Not only is it vital for you to know where all the financial information about the family is kept, it is necessary that you be the gate-keeper of the safe, including a clear understanding of what investments the family has, where, in partnership with whom, the location of title deeds; if under a trust, study the trust deed and seek understanding of the legal jargon, establish the presence of local and foreign accounts, knowledge of specific account numbers and in particular passwords.
It is important to be part of discussions with financial advisors/planners locally or offshore that your partner intends or has already hired.
In the event there is secrecy around money matters and an argument ensues when you insist on being part of the financial decision-making process, then you are compromised. Get busy. Establish the reason for lack of full disclosure by your partner. What is being hidden? Why? Do not wait for surprises. Get up and go make your own money if you have not already wised up to it. It is never too late to work towards your financial security.
l Create alternative income streams
Alternative income stream is income derived from secondary activities that you do not rely on for your day-to-day living expenses.
They provide you with extra income to invest elsewhere. We live in a country where to have one income stream is as wise as mining for diamonds in a local municipal public pool. There is none. That one income stream used to be a day job, but with many people unemployed, spaces have been created for self-employment or new business creation.
Many women I have had conversations with, while having multiple and alternative income streams, are actually living off those income streams. That strategy is a threat to financial freedom. If you are unable to set aside money to invest elsewhere so that investment makes money for you while you work elsewhere, you remain compromised and vulnerable.
A good starting point is to look around your household, assess and unlock value in the excess assets you already have. Cars parked for long periods in your garage without use is depreciating steel. Dispose of some of them. Have a garage sale.
l Be in a small network of girlfriends with financial freedom values
There is a reason why birds of the same feather flock together.
It makes sense to be in a network of like-minded women that benefit from the sharing of their collective wisdom and are increasingly aware that marriage is no longer a safe haven for ageing women, that understand that women tend to live longer than men and question what independent quality of life one would have when one gets good innings — without relying on the goodwill of millennial children, that money is a like a visitor — and therefore sometimes it visits in abundance and sometimes it does not — and therefore relying on one income, or the financial acumen of one person can be risky.
Ideas and knowledge are far much more valuable than money itself. When you move around and within circles of financially independent women, they will share with you ideas on how to be financially free. If you are unable to find such a grouping, start one.
Gloria Ndoro-Mkombachoto is an entrepreneur and a regional enterprise development consultant. Her experience spans a period of over 25 years. She can be contacted at [email protected]
