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You will all miss Mugabe

My People,Greetings from Singapore. I write to inform you that we are all fine and well.

By Dr Stop It

Reports that I refused to accompany the Great Bobster on his latest medical tourism junket are as false as the statement that there was no coup in a certain country in southern Africa.

That country was ruled by a certain elderly gentleman who was entrapped by his office secretary and caused him to lose all his dignity and power.

Kwaaaaaaaaaaaa! Serves him right, I hear you say. How could he go around targeting a girl young enough to be his granddaughter and turn her into a wife, others will ask.

Anyway, back to the story. The Bobster is in great condition as most of you will have seen that picture of Gushaz exiting a hospital in Singapore.

I hope you will all remain loyal to me and Gushungo because as you have already seen, Lizard Ngwena and his people are already struggling with how to come up with an administration as useless as the one produced by the old man.

I hope nobody will take confessions made by a young party official who was prominent during the interface meetings known as festivals of hope.

I am told the little fellow was singing like a canary and described his role and the roles of others about the goings-on in important bedrooms in the land.

Of course information obtained under his circumstances cannot and should not be believed.

Missing Bob already

The recent extraordinary congress of the party was very interesting.

For a start, I thought the Central Committee meeting which was held in November had resolved that party regalia should not bear the image of any individual.

Fast-forward a few days later and regalia with Lizard’s face was already being worn by all delegates.

Poor SK is still to settle down. Maybe it’s all those allegations that he has always made wrong decisions about which faction to join.

First it was the Joice faction and then the G40 and according to others, including being made to fire ED and to accuse Chiwenga of treason.

Hence it was not surprising to hear him chant “Viva President Muga-$%#$&^*#@.”

And there were others, including Chinamasa, who struggled to forget Gushungo.

For Dead BC, those bleeps and blunders could have constituted a programme on its own as there is nothing wrong with making mistakes.

Lizard Ngwena has said pamberi nemhandu (forward with the enemy) in the past while in 2014, The Great Robert chanted pasi neZanu PF (death to Zanu PF) and all laughed at the genuine mistake.

But again, this is Dead BC where imagination and creativity could be hovering at around zero.

I shall not speak

Was it Albert Nyathi who said I shall not speak. Well, even I shall not speak.

Although you people were opposed to my ascendancy, you were all there to witness Lizard appoint his wife to the politburo.

So what is the difference between what I was doing and what Auxiria is doing? For her it’s early days, soon it will be munhu wese kuna Auxiria.

Another Lizard-supporting couple, Chris and wife were appointed to the politburo.

And there are more little dynasties that we are seeing.

As for the alleged stories about misbehaving soldiers, I do hope the reports on the internet were western-funded propaganda.

Even reports of delegates nicking party regalia and hotel material were nothing short of opposition inspired propaganda.

What really irked me was to see Auxiria pretending to be me and wearing those hats of hers.

I can assure you there is no class there.

She should ask me for some notes.

Even worse, she out@@smarted me by providing Christmas hampers for all the delegates and hopefully they were not pinched by the leadership.

What she doesn’t know is people need underwear and not food.

I still have a smelly warehouse with used underwear that I will soon be donating to people.

JCJ is back!

Is it really true? Are the newspapers telling the truth?

I think the return of James Makamba should herald a new beginning for the country’s economy.

All those businessmen who fled with their things should come back and contribute to the growth of the economy.

We all need them here.

Munhuwese kuna Amai!

Umasalu woyeee!

Dr Amai Stop it! (Miracle PhD)

l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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