My People, I trust I find you well. I am sure you are as puzzled as I am with developments taking place in the country.
The leadership of the country under the Lizard has been making very curious decisions and most of you will soon be asking just what is going on.
By DOCTOR STOP IT
Maybe that is what Jah Prayzah meant by Kutonga kwaro.
Anyway, handei tione.
First they started by arresting everybody who was associated with Robert Gushungo, the real leader of G40.
Already the cases appear to be fizzling out.
Come to think of it, from that list of super patriots, who would not be found with millions of dollars stashed in their homes?
Divorce cases of some very big people have already revealed how they have over the years embarked on very primitive accumulation of wealth.
Way beyond what the salaries of civil servants could purchase.
Is it not safe to say thousands of people, including criminals were drawn to a certain political party, not because of their revolutionary credentials but the desire to pillage?
Many people have watched with interest as the establishment continues to harbour what the ZCTU famously described as “known criminals and thieves”.
Returning the country to white people
Comrades I am sure you are all watching as the country is slowly being returned to white people. After the revolutionary decision to embark on the land reform exercise which was championed by The Bobster, Lizard and the super patriots are slowly returning the country to white people.
First it was a few white commercial farmers whose farms were returned to them in a bid to settle factional scores.
Now, we are told all the white farmers who are still on the farms should be given 99-year leases.
And suddenly we have a lot of emissaries from the Queen of England and capitalist America turning Zimbabwe into their play ground.
Colonialists and capitalists know one thing only and that is to either pillage or rape other countries.
Who knows, next they will be saying Gushungo should lose 14 of his farms and remain with one.
What nonsense. Munopenga! Munopenga!
It is election season
Sometimes our friends from Europe, no matter how well meaning can prove to be a disappointment.
It was disappointing to hear a senior official from the EU alleging improved freedoms in Zimbabwe since the coup.
Problem is some diplomats may travel around the country’s beautiful and dazzling holiday resorts and get overwhelmed to the point of misleading themselves and their principals.
But as a reality check, no sooner had the diplomat finished telling untruths did reality sink in with supporters of Joice Mujuru being stoned allegedly by state agents and Zanu PF youths.
All those images happened while the British minister for Africa, Harriet Baldwin was in the country.
Meanwhile Lizard says it will be a free, fair and credible election. Friday’s orgy of violence is actually enough to have the elections declared not free, not fair and not credible.
How can an election be held in an environment in which people are stoned by drunken barbarians?
We wish to welcome our new suitors from the western world to the reality that we face as we go into the elections. The election season has started and blood is already flowing. Somebody will need to go and preach unity in Matabeleland, announce new funding for the construction of the Matabeleland Zambezi Water Project.
Someone will soon be making a fool of themselves announcing the revival of Ziscosteel, Kamativi, Mhangura, while others will revive the mega deals with Dangote, Xi, and the Russians.
Our ‘hardworking chiefs’
I am not sure what some of our chiefs do in their lives other than being willing tools to support Zanu PF programmes.
Some people have scandalously gone as far as to label chiefs as “non-productive”.
Soon after they were given expensive Isuzu trucks, the chiefs have another big national issue to occupy their minds.
They are holding national consultation programmes to find out just how their regal presence was not acknowledged during the inauguration of Mnangagwa last year.
So worried are our chiefs about that anomaly that less important things like the welfare of their communities have been shelved.
They want to hold consultations in different parts of the country until they find out who wrote Mnangagwa’s inauguration speech and why chiefs were not acknowledged.
Season of apologies
So Joice and Mugabe have been cosying up to each other. Robert even apologised for hounding her out of the party! Pathetic!
He may as well apologise for the murder of thousands of Zimbabweans under his leadership under operations Gukurahundi, Murambatsvina and Short Sleeve.
Joice may as well apologise for denigrating Joshua Nkomo and her role in Gukurahundi given that she was a senior member of government and the ruling party?
G40 strikes in Davos
The biggest story last week was missed by our media and happened thousands of kilometers away in Davos, Switzerland.
These Lacoste people have been growing like cockerels but within a split of a second, we were able to deliver a devastating punch in Davos.
Our sources tell us that Donald Trump had requested a face to face meeting with Ngwena.
The message was conveyed via senior G40 members still in government.
Needless to say, the officials withheld the information and did not inform Ngwena about the request for a brief meeting with the world’s most powerful person.
One of the officials, a very close relative of mine, did not proceed to Ethiopia from Davos and proceeded to Harare to await official dismissal.
New Patriotic Front
A new political party, the New Patriotic Front is coming up soon.
From it, the great Bobster will emerge. Watch this space. Icho!
Munhuwese kuna Amai!
Iwe neni tine basa.
Dr Amai Stopit! Fake Ph.D
l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com