MDC-T can’t even organise a funeral

Obituaries
My People, It is now official! The Movement for Democratic Confusion (MDC), has clearly demonstrated in the last two weeks, that they cannot organise anything.

My People,

It is now official!

The Movement for Democratic Confusion (MDC), has clearly demonstrated in the last two weeks, that they cannot organise anything.

Not even a funeral.

And they want to run a whole country?

What a pathetic lot indeed.

From fighting over a corpse to trying to burn a senior official at a funeral to abusing a grieving widow and other less palatable things.

they exhibited their true colours in front of their white handlers, what they really stand for.

What really emerged nicely in front of their indulgent owners was that instead of being the party of excellence that they claim to be, they are indeed a party of thugs.

It is a party that does not respect women and minority groups.

It is a party which does not respect its constitution and when it comes to doing something as basic as replacing its president, will consult families and factions instead of referring to their constitution.

What came out clearly was that it is a very violent party.

Not really surprising given that it is the darling of people who collectively were responsible for the slave trade, the two world wars and other despicable activities around the world.

I am sure at this stage it is safe to rule the upcoming elections as not free, fair or credible given excessive violence being exhibited by the party of thugs.

the circus continues. Pass the popcorn.

Two Dead #Kutongakwaro

Any government coming into power through the barrel of the gun, no matter how hard it tries to hide that fact, soon shows its true colours by killing its own citizens.

Amid foolish debates about people being dumped outside the city by public transporters so that they finish off the rest of the trip into town on foot in order to be physically fit or some crazy reason, we watched the drama unfold from the comfort of the Blue Roof.

Surely, collective insanity had gripped some people into making equally insane decisions.

They even forgot that we will soon be asking those very same people to vote for us in elections which will be held “sooner than you think”.

Even more worrying was the decision to send armed police into the streets.

Why carry live bullets into the streets? Are you at war with the people?

Is Zimbabwe open or closed for business?

Mugabe never allowed his citizens to be punished the same way Lizard Ngwena is doing.

Maybe that’s what kutonga kwaro means.

A government which punishes citizens then shoots them if they protest.

And in all this, they are arguing on whether it was council or the junta which ordered the operation to take place besides being told that the alternative bus termini had not been fitted with adequate facilities such as sheds and toilets.

Anyway, the ordinary people know who was behind the operation, including those who pulled the trigger of the gun.

Lizard Ngwena’s 100 days in office

Meanwhile, the 100 days for turnaround are all but up and Ngwena has made some pretty astonishing inroads in improving the country.

This includes maintaining Gushungo’s appetite for international travel which has taken him to Switzerland, Ethiopia, South Africa, Mozambique, Namibia, Angola, Zambia and Botswana.

Lizard Ngwena also made giant strides in bringing development to Zimbabwe by buying non-productive traditional chiefs very expensive vehicles.

Counter revolutionaries were, however, quick to point out that the vehicles would have been better used as ambulances to benefit ordinary Zimbabweans.

The money used for the purchase of the vehicles could have also been used to improve our roads, but those who travel in helicopters don’t get to appreciate debates on the state of our roads.

Another mammoth stride in terms of opening Zimbabwe for business was the quick promotion of senior soldiers and reassignment of other senior military personnel to other portfolios.

Those who do not see that as a very strategic enabler of development are clearly agents of former Rhodesians and the British.

In terms of bringing back investor confidence, two white commercial farmers whose land had been occupied by landless Zimbabweans were publicly given back their land in a spectacular publicity stunt.

White farmers who are still on the land will soon be receiving 99-year leases in a major blow to the legacy of Mugabe, who suffered international isolation for empowering black people with land.

All those seeing this as a reversal of the land reform are obviously members of the G40 cabal.

In another stunning development which could justify those long hours, including weekends going to work, Lizard commissioned some borrowed rail equipment from South Africa last week.

The deals were done during the tenure of Gushungo last year, but we will not dwell on that including the fact that he chose to go to work on February 21, Robert Mugabe Youth Day!

With Zimbabwe now open for business and dirty water flowing out of our taps, we should soon witness a fresh stampede — of Zimbabweans leaving the country for better lives.

Mr Presidential advisor Mutsvangwa

Chris Mutsvangwa is the Presidential advisor to Lizard Ngwena, although I can’t imagine what he advises him on.

In Norton, the constituency which he is planning to take from Themba Mliswa, is a road construction that he should be aware of.

He could advise Ngwena that the project is moving at a snail’s pace — in reverse 2018 ‘O’Level Engrish Examination Who said the following words and at what event?

We wiri never arau non revorutionaries without reberation credhenjaries to rure this rovery khandhry?

Munhuwese kuna Amai!

Jonso Woyee! Dread Patrick Woyee! Dr Amai Stopit! (Miracle PhD) l Feedback: [email protected]