My People, The junta, which thought it was very smart and could mislead Zimbabweans and the rest of the world that theirs was the world’s smartest coup, are now quaking in their boots.
By DOCTOR STOP IT
They humiliated the only man who single-handedly freed Zimbabwe and Africa from colonial bondage by saluting him in front of television cameras, while behind the scenes he was under house arrest and receiving threats.
They should have borrowed some West African models whose exit option is life in exile if they want to avoid shedding blood.
And they thought by keeping The Bobster under house arrest through their security details, they would suffocate him.
Not Gushungo the great. Conqueror of the British. Like Mbuya Nehanda, his bones shall rise again.
And as Gushungo’s bones were rising, former Zapu and Zipra official and guerilla retired Brigadier general Ambrose Mutinhiri, a brother to Gushungo, was being unveiled as the leader of the National Patriotic Front (NPF).
Others say the NPF is the G40 cabal, but I don’t care.
Still on Mutinhiri, notice how the majority of other former Zipra guerillas never made it beyond the rank of colonel while cousin Ambrose kept rising and rising.
Others are even suggesting that NPF is a Zezuru supremacist party to challenge the emerging Karanga dominance in leadership as represented by Lizard Ngwena and Nelson Chamisa.
Well, again I don’t care about such thinkers. Munopenga, Munopenga!
Still on Ambrose, while cousin Robert was unleashing Gukurahundi on the Zapu and Zipra family, Ambrose would later receive top jobs in the diplomatic sector.
The joys and beauty of family ties.
Anyway, the rising of Gushungo’s bones and the unveiling of a senior soldier like the retired brig-general sent such tremors across the political terrain.
Dr Shenanigans, he who values riberation credenjaries in this repubrik, was so shocked by the news to the extent that he missed his step and fell down and had to be sent to hospital.
But he should be happy as it satisfies his call that “those without riberation credenjaries should not ruru this repubrik”.
When elections are around the corner, you can always tell by the stories that The Horrid and the Cronic start churning out.
Lizard Ngwena has promised to help revive Ekusileni Hospital, a disused hospital located in the upmarket areas of Bulawayo.
The hospital is a brainchild of the late Joshua Nkomo but like most of his ideas, was never allowed to thrive while he was still alive.
However, it continues to serve as an electioneering tool. Promise to open it just before the elections, collect the votes and repeat the promises at the next elections.
The same will be said about Gwayi-Shangani Dam and the water pipeline, including all other pie-in-the-sky projects in Matabeleland.
The Unity Accord will be used as a subtle threat to remind people of the earlier murderous campaign carried out in the region to remind people of consequences of not voting “correctly”.
They will not bother mentioning the same Unity Accord in other parts of the country, of course.
Did I hear Dead BC correctly?
A few weeks ago, I was watching Dead BC news, which was purely by coincidence as I cannot believe the circus that it has become.
They should just rename their news bulletin “Keeping up with the Mnangagwas” as it has simply become a circus of following Oxiria’s stagemanaged hospital visits and Lizard Ngwena moving around with his hideous scarf like Paraffin, the famous television drama actor.
Can you imagine he had the scarf around his shoulders in the sweltering heat of the DRC on a recent visit?
So there I was watching Dead BC and I heard one of their journalists talking to the new minister of foreign affairs, the one who famously announced on television, while wearing military fatigues that our security as the first family was guaranteed.
And they were referring to sanctions as restrictive measures!
And they repeated that several times.
What a negation of the values of Gushungo The Great.
Pasi nemasanctions. Nothing like pasi nema restrictive measures.
Pamire and Gumede to bounce back?
With a lot of issues being raised against blah Phidza at the Zimbabwe Football Association (Zifa), including unhelpful allegations that he was a G40 cabalist, a lot of developments are taking place which may result in a strong contest come next elections.
The shameless public relations work for one faction being done by journalists at The Horrid is embarrassing to journalism.
The good thing is that some of them have a well-known history of match-fixing and benefiting from looted companies.
So it was interesting to see real football administrators, Ndumiso Gumede and Vincent Pamire, organise a tournament that celebrated the promotion of Kembo Mohadi to the presidency.
Interesting times ahead indeed.
Dr Amai Stopit! PhD (Fake)
l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com