Do we have a functional government?

Politics
I was surprised to read in one of the local newspapers which mentions the fact that the country has a minister of transport or something to that effect.

I was surprised to read in one of the local newspapers which mentions the fact that the country has a minister of transport or something to that effect.

By DOCTOR STOP IT

I was surprised because based on the situation on the ground, our transport and infrastructural development of that sector is all but dead.

Looking at the poor state of our roads, real death traps, one would be forgiven for thinking that we are a country which has been going through a civil war for the past decade.

Foreign tourists who visited recently have spoken of how they take away painful backs as long-lasting souvenirs and lasting reminders of travelling on our bad roads. Pothole country, they call us.

The National Railways of Zimbabwe (NRZ), one of the key assets to our economy, has all but ground to a standstill amid noises of trying to revive it. Without a reliable railway network, we cannot even begin to discuss opening the country for business.

Then we go to Air Zimbabwe, where we understand a lot of “shenanigans” are going on including deliberate efforts to sabotage the airline, while promoting their own personal family projects in the form of a rival airline.

Let us hear what the super patriots have to say on this one.

I could go on and on, but the question is when the minister and senior officials in that ministry wake up every morning to go to “work”, what work do they do exactly? Or maybe being a relative or ally of Lizard means you are free to underperform?

But the electorate will have their say in July.

Goodbye Ian Khama

Zimbabweans and the military recently deposed 94-year-old Robert Mugabe from power.

In his place now is 75-year-old Lizard Ngwena, who has already started closing his eyes when attending important international meetings.

Others say he will not be sleeping, but my position is that his eyes will be closed.

Anyway, people could say it’s a major development as a country, but I am not sure collectively we all can’t help but envy the people of Botswana who are blessed with good leaders where corruption is not a national occupation.

Of course, Khama was viewed in part as a beneficiary of the Khama Dynasty and he is also a soldier.

But all that did not stop him from being a good leader.

If you people had been patient enough, Bona or even Chatunga would have been ready to lead you in a few years’ time.

Back to Khama, the chap is retiring at 65 years while here people are putting their faith in a 75-year-old Lizard who has been in government for 38 years since 1980.

The other alternative is a very excitable young lawyer who, like Lizard, seized power in his party and hounded out his female “boss”.

While many are praising the young man for being a dreamer, others think for now building an airport in Murehwa, bullet trains to Bulawayo and a fishing university in Binga is more hallucination than vision.

But hey, our independence was brought by the young men and women who fought for this country and maybe this is another opportunity for the young people to free their country from oppression.

As in 1980, be very careful of eloquent smooth orators who make you enjoy listening to them.

Gushungo was one such orator and it took tanks and guns to remove him from office at close to 94 years old.

Munopenga! Munopenga!

Can you imagine my anger last week when I was touring one of my many farms?

I can’t remember how many farms we looted as a family, but I was on one of them and came across some squatters doing some gold panning on one farm.

They had even destroyed the expensive irrigation equipment and when I told them that I was the former first lady, they did not even care.

Instead they started singing that boring song called Kutonga kwaro.

They don’t know that the rest of the country will be affected if they don’t get their daily Mazowe Orange crush.

There will be riots out there if there is no Mazowe. But what people are telling me is that those squatters were sent by Lizard Lacoste.

Those people are such cowards. After all, when Lacoste had lost the political battle and was fired from government, he needed the help of the army to take over. A whole army to remove a 94-year-old man. Now he sends squatters on my land.

Unopengaaaaaaaaa!

Jah Prayzah

Will one of the senior musicians or anybody who cares about the tall musician give him some words of advice?

That he will continue to sing when the politicians have long left.

Please tell him about the legendary Simon Chimbetu whose fortunes plunged because of a perception that he was in bed with a certain political party.

The young Jah should be told that appearing to endorse certain politicians or political parties can result in a spectacular reversal of fortunes.

Kembo and miracles

It was rather surprising to hear the miracle vice-president, Kembo Mohadi, telling ruling party supporters not to expect miracles in service delivery.

The same miracle VP who had pictures taken while consulting a witchdoctor who had convinced him that pure diesel was gushing from a rock.

The same miracle vice-president who was filmed while “receiving” from one of these charismatic pastors.

Kutonga kwaro

Hospitals close due to strike by poorly paid doctors, teachers prepare for strike and Lacoste is telling the world we are open for business.

Ntombizodwa woyeee!

Ambrosi woyeee!

Dread Patrick woyeee!

Dr Amai Stop it! (Fake PhD from UZ) l Feedback: [email protected]