‘Sorry, my Lords and Ladies’

Obituaries
There was equal disappointment at the Blue Roof and in other remaining G40 circles as our hope to return through the back door, riding on an MDC Alliance victory, was dashed.

My People, To those who were disappointed by the Constitutional Court decision (and there are many, millions in fact), I would like to commiserate with you.

letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

There was equal disappointment at the Blue Roof and in other remaining G40 circles as our hope to return through the back door, riding on an MDC Alliance victory, was dashed.

I made a quick survey using our existing network of boys and girls in dark glasses and reports are still indicating that you all want the Great Gushungo to make another triumphant return to rule this even greater country.

So, with Lizard Ngwena barely scrapping through to make it as president of Zimbabwe, it would be good to find out what the sentiment is out there.

Legitimacy will not be granted by the men and women wearing white wigs in court, but the court of public opinion, including international opinion.

A check with local hotels and the business and industry pulse will tell you that the initial frenzy of inquiries may have cooled off somewhat following the fatal mass shooting of Zimbabweans in Harare on August 1 by soldiers.

The ED victory could be a signal for our degreed young people to dust up their passports and prepare to seek menial jobs in Botswana, South Africa, Mozambique, DRC, in wartorn Central Africa Republic, CAR — anywhere but Zimbabwe.

So as a certain coup leader would say: “Sorry, my rords and radies. Suffering in the repubrik defineterie condinyuwa. Aruta condinyuwa.”

What happens next in Zanu PF?

The ruling party will be kept intact by the fact that against all odds, they managed to score a two-thirds majority in Parliament. The fact that Dhakisi Ngwena struggled to make it past the finishing post will be very sobering for him.

The MDC Alliance was less charitable, alleging that he had received active support from different actors to help him across the finishing line.

So if Zanu PF could get a two- thirds majority in Parliament while its presidential candidate could only manage to limp across the winning post, then that is the clearest sign that there is division in the kingdom.

Unresolved leadership issues maybe?

What happened to the small matter of the grenade that was thrown at the leadership during campaigning at White City Stadium in Bulawayo? Who was the real target? Who was the brains behind the act?

Now that he has legitimacy, the Lizard could embark on a mass purge and centralise power in a manner only Rwanda strongman Paul Kagame is capable of.

As things stand, all the senior party officials, including the vice-presidents, are at the mercy of Lizard Ngwena to re-appoint them to positions of authority.

But again, Ngwena can only flex his muscles depending on who really calls the shots in the country.

Remember he only came to take over power from exile after I had defeated him politically. Essentially, he took over after the military had meddled in the civilian political affairs of the country.

We will soon know who the real owners of the country are after the appointment of the Cabinet, but the deadly divisions will continue.

Where to MDC?

The problems in the opposition could be worse. Winning the presidential election would have helped cool the temperatures but in defeat, the blame game has started.

Who will be leader of the opposition in Parliament? Biti?

Will the MDC Chamisa MPs who are in the majority be answerable to Biti? What of the MPs from Welshman Ncube’s MDC?

All this against a background of dishonesty and arrogance by MDC Chamisa when it came to fielding candidates in agreed areas during elections.

Will councillors, MPs and Senators under Chamisa do the bidding of their commander who has no official power?

And by the way, why has the spokesman of the MDC Alliance, Welshman Ncube, not been speaking a lot on behalf of the alliance?

Or is Chamisa now the spokesman? When did the alliance principals last meet?

Or is this the end of the alliance? What about the issue concerning the party name and symbols.

Is Thokozani Khupe going to inherit the MDC T(svangirai)? It could turn our to be easy because anybody arguing with her can be told that the party has been renamed MDC T(hokozani).

Meanwhile, the Chamisa faction is supposed to go for congress in a few moons.

Of Dead BC

It is certainly not in doubt that Dead BC is not a reservoir of broadcasting excellence.

Could it be because of some unskilled relatives who are employed by some chefs?

Take, for example, the horrible voice that has been dominating advertising content on television? Does ZimDigital do auditions for adverts? Do they pay people for the voice-overs? If the content on Dead BC won’t scare you, the voices will certainly do.

Rumbie, Vicky and the Muzenda lady make television bearable.

The other relatives should go for voice training or be redeployed somewhere very far from microphones.

Gushungo woyeee!

Gire woyeeee!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Genuine Fake)

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