It was indeed refreshing to hear the new chefs at the information ministry calling for improved quality of journalism at public media institutions.
letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT
No doubt we need quality journalism at both private and public media organisations.
But if I am going to be mugged to pay for a licence fee to watch Dead BC, which I hardly watch anyway, then they had better make sure that they improve their content.
The government is the majority shareholder at The Horrid newspaper and as such, the views of the people have to be reflected in the content.
Quality journalism should also be respected even though there will be a tendency to employ incompetent relatives by senior officials.
It was, therefore, not surprising to read a story, which was clearly written by one of the incompetent relatives which was about the plight of a retired footballer who was having health problems related to his “colony”.
We assume he or she meant colon.
Another classical case was at Dead BC on the main news bulletin in the evening where the news anchor told us that he hoped the world was having a good morning.
But the timeless classic was when the anchor read out a story about elections in Cameroon and then invited viewers to watch the footage about the elections.
What appeared next was footage from some event in the DRC.
The news anchor, who was now sweating again, invited viewers to view the elections footage in Cameroon and we all waited with bated breath.
Up came the footage on the screen. The only problem was that instead caused by seeing scenes from Cameroon, we saw the devastation of a tsunami in Indonesia.
The Cameroon elections story was immediately abandoned.
Redeploy war veterans at Dead BC
Even the bosses at Dead BC must have been pleasantly shocked to see that a simple presentation at a graduation ceremony by Monica Chanda was trending on Twitter.
Of course, some chefs may want to come up with all sorts of explanations on why she became an instant star overnight.
Well, it had nothing to do with anointed oil or juju or whatever.
After years of being repeatedly tortured by the same voices belonging to Ruueeeben Barwe, Judith Makwanya and Stanley Katsande, the people of Zimbabwe immediately identified their own star and made their opinions known.
Simple advice for Dead BC is that they would gain a few more followers if their re-assigned some of they war veterans and bring on board fresh talent.
Re-assigning shrill voices of some television personalities, including the panicky voice of football commentator Katsande, might win them some followers.
The spirits are angry
Those who are well versed with history will tell you that The Bobster, the Great Gushungo, is no ordinary person.
Some of you still refer to him as the “Mhondoro”.
His rise to power was predicted and prophesied by many great spirits.
Those powerful spirits also actively supported his rise and enthronement.
The same powerful spirits did not say how the Great Gushungo would be removed from power.
In other words, those who were actively involved in his removal from power committed a great crime against the spirits that watch over the land.
They can only clear their names by making public apologies to the spirits of the land and offering a hundred head of cattle to Gushaz.
If they don’t do that, the land shall not know any peace while they shall not rest.
Meanwhile, the spirits have already indicated that a great famine shall afflict this country in the coming moons.
Is it MDC-PF?
The legacy of Gushungo shall continue to be felt in this country for many years to come.
Reading a statement from Chitungwiza province about their desire not to have young Nelson Chamisa contested at the upcoming congress, one could see the overwhelming influence of Zanu PF.
It read like one of the many resolutions that were always made ahead of Zanu PF congresses that were designed to protect Gushungo from being contested.
That always gave him the unique position of being the only person whose position was assured before congress began.
Ebola vs cholera
Two African countries affected by two different deadly diseases are set to clash in back-to-back football matches.
Zimbabwe and the DRC are set to clash in the two Afcon matches.
Zimbabwe is reeling from a battering by a primitive disease, cholera, while the DRC is affected by ebola.
Should the matches have been sanctioned to go ahead given that some trade union activists were beaten and put in police cells as a way of ensuring that cholera does not spread?
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)