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Cry the beloved country

My People,
Greetings from Singapore.

Your Dear Comrade Brother Leader, the great African revolutionary Gushungo sends his greetings and love.

Letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

We spend our time marvelling and laughing at some of the foolish or hilarious developments that take place in Zimbabwe on a daily basis.

Take for example, during ED Ngwena’s recent useless visit to Zambia, even the masters of sunshine journalism, The Horrid newspaper, tried, but failed dismally to find a story angle to what was clearly an unnecessary trip and a non-event.

In the end we were told that Lizard Ngwena had Charmed Zambians at Uhuru Celebrations.

Purleeeeeeeeez! Like seriously?

Undeterred, the brave journalist ploughed on: “There were wild cheers when President Mnangagwa highlighted in his presentation that Zimbabwe and Zambia were Siamese twins (which is not true)….”.

Maybe they were cheering at the fact that someone with very strong links to Zambia had returned home.

The write-up was a good sleep-inducing tablet as I immediately fell into a deep slumber while trying to read the story.

Later when I tried to continue reading the newspaper, there was another story about the signing of MoUs, which is about all the not-so-new dispensation has done.

The first one was about establishing a one-stop border facility at the Victoria Falls-Livingstone facility.

Not sure if doing that needed getting on a plane or some senior immigration official could have been mandated to do that in line with the new thinking of cutting travel costs.

There was also an MoU on cultural exchange co-operation.

Another earth-shattering MoU was on the preservation of Zimbabwe’s liberation war grave sites in Zambia!

One of the few readers of The Horrid even questioned why a whole “battalion” of ministers and hangers-on could all travel to Zambia to sign an MoU on preserving grave sites while at the same time looting the national coffers through travel allowances. The reader helpfully suggested that an email or fax could have easily dealt with the issues that required a planeload of government mandarins to go and sign “useless” MoUs.

My take on that is that for the Zambian independence commemorations, our ambassador or any other junior embassy officials could have easily represented us.

On the signing of the MoUs, that was totally unnecessary because if you go into your files, you will find dozens of similar MoUs signed by the Great Gushungo in the last 38 years.

Actually, liberation war graves have already been preserved.

My interpretation is that Lizard Ngwena had simply gone to visit his family in Zambia under the guise of conducting government business.

It was also an opportunity to raid the little resources that we have in terms of foreign currency.

Simply put, Zimbabwe is not open for business if its priorities include preserving grave sites.

The listening president does not listen and has no clue on how to save money.

Can we be taken seriously by the international community when we prioritise not so important independence commemorations of a country which is sliding further into repression like Zambia?

A president who buys himself a private jet to the detriment of the population which has lost out millions in aid funding?

Hobnobbing with a president whose government cracks down on the opposition and shuts down independent newspapers? Shame!

The angels at Zifa House

It was very reassuring to learn that the “owners” of the Zimbabwe Football Association (Zifa) have all but retained their positions after their competitors, one of whom is an MDC Alliance official, Gift Banda, had reportedly failed an integrity test.

What this means is that president Philip Chiyangwa and his deputy, Omega Sibanda, who are also Zanu PF legislators,will continue serving in those capacities.

We cannot have the two gentlemen who have so much integrity having their reputations being soiled by MDC Alliance-linked people with no integrity.

Can you imagine Captain Fiasco Phidza and all his reputation and integrity being challenged by people whose names nobody can remember?

Meanwhile, it is reassuring that one or two soldiers were also found with enough integrity to compete for Zifa positions. Interesting indeed.

If Papa feels unsafe

By now the story of Papa Magaya has spread to all corners of the earth.

We were moved by how he said he no longer felt safe staying in the country due to issues to do with discovering a cure for HIV.

Meanwhile, some people who wear bangles from Papa’s congregation for “protection” are no longer sure of what to do if Papa himself is afraid.

Another Dhiziri kuChinhoyi

Did our soft-as-wool President just mislead the nation on oil “discoveries” in Muzarabani?

Was he just too excited to distil what he was talking about or the media misquoted him?

Anyway, the long and short of it is people are saying things are not as rosy as you would have us believe, Mr Wool.

It may appear like you are trying to pull the wool over people’s eyes.

Ntombizodwa woyee!
Gushungo woyee!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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