HomeEditorial CommentThe Great Gushungo is in high spirits

The Great Gushungo is in high spirits

My People
Greetings from Singapore.

I hope I do find you well.

I would like to start by telling you that as confirmed by Lizard Lacoste at the poorly-attended rally in Murombedzi yesterday, the Great Gushungo has been unwell for some time, but will now be returning to Zimbabwe very soon.

letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

Although he is having mobility challenges, he is in high spirits and sends his greetings.

I will have a word with Lizard about publicising the medical condition of The Great Gushungo without clearance from me.

Disrespecting Gushungo

The poorly-attended “Thank You” rally in Zvimba, the home area of Gushungo, yesterday was one of the biggest forms of disrespect by Lizard Lacoste and his henchmen on the memory and legacy of the great Robert.

With Gushungo very unwell in far-off Singapore, the coup plotters chose that moment to desecrate the birthplace of one of Zimbabwe’s iconic revolutionaries.

After having humiliated Gushungo during the coup, they were still not satisfied and chose to go and rub it in during the rally, which was largely snubbed by the locals.

Of course, after stabbing Gushungo in the back, Lacoste and his gangsters are now feeling guilty and trying to undo the bad deeds inflicted on Gushungo.

With the country refusing to be governed as evidenced by bus disasters, fire outbreaks, road accidents and an aircraft crash, those superstitious fellows in the party could have been trying to conduct rituals to appease Gushungo and his spirits.

No Morari [joy] at rally

Those who were able to follow the “thank you” rally on Dead BC will confirm that those attending the meeting had no enthusiasm for developments at the rally at all.

If anything, they appeared like people who had been abducted and frog-marched to the venue — a well-known tactic often used by the party to create the illusion of a large following.

Party chairperson Oppah Muchinguri-Kashiri had a torrid time working the crowd to enthusiastically respond to slogans as did Vice President Constantino Chiwenga.

The morari was clearly low and no amount of cajoling extracted any enthusiasm from the Zvimba crowd.

The locals must have read something sinister into the whole charade, hence the lack of excitement given the hardships, which they experience on a daily basis.

Of course, the entire Lacoste faction was in total control although eyebrows were raised over the absence of political commissar Engelbert Rugeje.

The rally appeared to be a clear platform designed to tell those eyeing the presidency that there was no vacancy at the top.

Lacoste kingpins Ziyambi Ziyambi and the MC Omega Hungwe were quick to introduce the 2023: ED Pfee slogan.

Chiwenga, who was asked to introduce ED to the crowd, studiously avoided chanting the 2023: ED Pfee slogan although he all but warned people against wanting to take over from him.

But in order to make sure, Lacoste Ngwena asked secretary for youth Pupurai Togarepi to speak, which was an opportunity for him to chant the 2023:ED Pfee slogan.

Dr Dhibhiritating could be up against a formidable team.

Anybody in doubt that by the 10th “thank you” rally, women and youthiez will be baying for the blood of Dr Dhibhiritating?

Useless MoUs

Our government appears to have a fascination with signing useless deals.

First it was those mega billion dollar deals, which have all turned out to be pie in the sky or dololo, as some people would like to say.

Next it was a truckload of MoUs with Guinea, Conakry.

Of what strategic value is that country to us that ED should visit and have MoUs signed?

Who was the not so bright person who saw it fit to spend millions of foreign currency to sign useless deals?

Then there were MoUs signed between Zimbabwe and India.

Most of them were equally useless and not likely to have a life beyond the signing day.

Indicating left, turning right

So, according to the government of ED Pfee, we should attain middle income status by 2030.

And one way that we shall attain this will be to hold “thank you” rallies around the country?

Will someone please tell these people that people need to be in fields, factories and mines and not attending useless rallies?

But with an opposition such as the one we have or don’t have, can anyone blame Zanu PF for behaving in the manner that it does?

Tissues and a hanky for the Chief

Will somebody please tell ED and his deputy that it is unpresidential to wipe their sweating faces with their sleeves or the back of their hands.

Handkerchiefs will do just fine, thank you.

While Dr Dhibhiritating does carry a hanky, he just needs to be reminded to use it.

Also, please no holding noses and clearing nasal blockages. Very improper.

Long live Gushungo!

Long live Gire!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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