I hope I find you well under the circumstances.
I must congratulate those who did not make it to Esigodini.
They deserve congratulations for the simple reason that they did not have to tie scarves around their necks in an area whose temperatures were reportedly hovering north of 30 degrees Celsius.
You can imagine what the temperatures were inside those tents — three or four notches higher.
All because the Emperor insists on wearing colourful apparel like a clown.
Surely out of all those adults, one of them should be able to tell the Emperor that he is naked.
Temperatures in Davos, Switzerland, where the clowning with the scarf started, and Esigodini, the latest venue of the conference, are worlds apart.
One boasts an abundance of snow — lots of it, while another is home of sunshine, so much that in nearby Gwanda, there are plans to establish a solar project.
Except that in line with Zimbabwe’s very vibrant policy of corruption, the project has not kicked off.
The project will never be fully implemented.
Like the Zambezi water project, the party shall use the solar project for purposes of harvesting votes ahead of future elections.
Of course, such scandals that deliberately underdevelop some regions will not happen everywhere.
Can you imagine the outrage if the Dema diesel project in Mashonaland East had been stalled by some fat boy with no known interest in the area?
Meanwhile, many were hoping that before they left Esigodini, some leaders would have done something about their roles in the mass murder of people from that province in the 1980s.
Matebeleland South was one of the most affected when blood literally flowed in the province.
It was serious in areas like Matobo district where a Nazi German-style concentration camp was established at Bhalagwe, where victims were dismembered, buried alive or thrown into mine shafts.
Although Kembo Campbell Duggish Mohadi was initially reported to be on government assignment, before the lie was tossed off as being too glaring, he was finally reported to be unwell.
Whatever the reason for Kembo’s no-show at the conference, Zimbabweans have long ceased to care. As a person from Matabeleland South, his absence is being applauded by many who feel the province is owed an apology by some people who occupy very high offices in the land.
Never mind the fact that Zimbabwe is literally burning due to the fact that the country has no fuel.
In fact, the majority of Zimbabweans who own cars are spending most of their time in fuel queues or inquiring about where they can get fuel and other basic commodities.
As the leadership was feasting on behalf of the poor struggling and starving masses, a young Zimbabwean athlete was being brave in the Region V Games where, without any shoes, he battled to a respectable third-place finish.
Surely, the people deserve better.
How can adults who are members of a revolutionary organisation feel good about feasting in a country where unemployment and food shortages are common?
Most Zimbabweans will no doubt have been delighted by some of the revolutionary resolutions to have come out of Esigodini.
The major one was that government should review allowances of village heads and that construction of liberation war museums should be done.
That should make our economy grow faster than all economies in the world in less than six months.
Am sure Mthuli must have applauded loudest given his austerity for posterity nonsense he was emitting recently.
You will be thrilled to know that for the children of poor Zimbabweans, the revolutionary national service will be re-launched in the new year.
The children of the ruling class will continue to attend universities in foreign lands as usual to prepare them for a life as leaders in their country.
The leadership has long said we should prepare to endure hardships before we begin to reap the benefits.
Looks like we will have to suffer for about 100 years before the situation begins to normalise.
Some comrades could have been confused by earlier public relations statements condemning corruption by party and government officials.
Some of you may have even wrongly concluded that corruption is outlawed in the party and government.
Goodness me, perish the thought! If corruption becomes illegal, then what would be the motivation for participating in politics? How will politicians survive?
That is why all who have been accused of corruption have been acquitted and will continue to be acquitted.
Our partners in the business, the MDC lawyers, can always be counted on to perpetuate the corruption by successfully defending all our corrupt officials.
If Zimbabweans want to have an idea of how the MDCA will preside over affairs of the country, they need not look further than what they are doing at municipalities around the country.
Bulawayo councillors reportedly went for a retreat in Victoria Falls. MDCA interference by the party leadership has resulted in the town of Victoria Falls not having a mayor. Harare councillors reportedly went for a retreat in Nyanga after demanding ipads and other things.
Meanwhile, something that resembles water comes out of water taps in Harare.
Indeed a party of excellence like their counterparts at Shake-shake building.
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com