Real churches are in the DRC

Obituaries
Regardless of what transpired in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) elections, the churches in that country deserve our hearty congratulations.

My People,

Regardless of what transpired in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) elections, the churches in that country deserve our hearty congratulations.

Unlike some Zimbabwean charlatans who claim to represent the people, the DRC churches stood by the ordinary people in that country in the face of adversity from the ruling party and the military.

Our Zimbabwean comrades from some churches have clearly shown that they are cheerleaders for Zanu PF.

Some of them have gone as far as endorsing ruling party candidates and spend a lot of time drinking lots of tea at State House.

Such activities can also be very tricky as one Comrade Ndanga once discovered after endorsing Gushungo and Dr Amai to rule this country as they wished.

He was soon forced to change his bleating after the coup installed ED Lacoste as the new President.

The comrade bishop now spends a lot of time endorsing ED or being lectured by First Lady Oxiria.   Oxiria for President When Gushungo and myself started dreaming of creating the Mugabe dynasty, nobody took the fantasy seriously until many Zanu PF stalwarts had fallen by the wayside. The ones who had seen through the plan opposed it from the outset.

When have former mistresses risen to such lofty positions such as president or vice-president? Many people asked with derision.

It was only until Ngwena had been fired from government and the party and bolted to safety that people realised just how serious The Bobster was in grooming his ex-mistress to be the next president of Zimbabwe.

Now I ask you: Do you think Lacoste is grooming his wife to replace him as president of Zanu PF and Zimbabwe? Of course, he is!

Notice how Oxiria was immediately removed from active politics as MP for Chirumhanzu- Zibagwe in order to have her play the role of a neutral leader in future.

Remember she took over the Chirumhanzu-Zibagwe seat in order to replace her husband who had been appointed vice-president.

In Harare, their son was forced down the throats of party supporters as it becomes clearer and clearer that efforts are being made to create a Lacoste Dynasty.

Appointments in government have now tended to favour those from Lacoste strongholds in Masvingo and Midlands as consolidation towards some form of dynasty is made.

Back to Oxiria, while Generari Bleach always responds to any situation by insisting that only his position is correct or by firing workers such as nurses, ED spectacularly set him up for failure over the doctors’ strike.

The intention was to make Oxiria emerge as a more sensitive, sensible, practical, pragmatic, reasonable and understanding person as opposed to the general, who may have emerged as irrational and impatient.

Of course, the captured public media has gone into overdrive to report everything that Oxiria does, no matter how irrelevant or silly. Watch this space for surely, like Ntombizodwa, Oxiria shall rise.

The useless visit to Belarus by Lacoste So, Lacoste has planned yet another useless visit and this time he is going to Belarus.

That country which sold us earthmovers meant for Hwange coal mine.

The equipment broke down in two weeks!

Let us hope he will not be buying any planes from that part of the world.

Of course, Belarus also supplied other mining equipment for the diamond fields in Marange and is a dictatorship.

Azerbaijan is another country which the Lacoste gang will visit. It is a resource-rich country whose military is believed to have an annual budget of US$3 billion.

Kazakhstan, another oil-rich former Soviet republic, will be visited by the crew.

They also boast an annual military budget which is above US$2 billion.

Russia will be the last leg of the jaunt and we will all be hoping that the visits will result in some oil flowing in our direction.

It would be disappointing to hear that they may have used the time to buy some military hardware when the country is not at war.

They will also go and mingle with more serious people in Davos and with a barely functioning economy and country, the biggest mystery is what they will be doing in Switzerland.

I hope they will not be making spectacles of themselves by donning those garish scarves.

Free education The year 2019 has finally come and we now await the free education that The Sunday Mail promised us.

Quoting Ziyambi Ziyambi, the newspaper told the nation to brace for free basic education.

Such sunshine journalism should not be encouraged as it can backfire spectacularly.

In fact, it has backfired as the story is being used by many to indicate government insincerity on service delivery.

Some may find it hard to differentiate between the liar and the one bearing the message of the liar.   Gushungo woyeeee! Ntombizodwa woyeee! Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake) Feedback: [email protected]