HomeOpinion & AnalysisThe catch and release show

The catch and release show

Ltter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People,

Those who have done professional fishing will immediately understand exactly what it is that I am talking about.

You see, when those who are well fed congregate for fishing tournaments, they do what is known as catch and release.

Simply put, they do just that: catch and release the fish.

In the name of conservation, being sporting, animal rights and other reasons, which I don’t understand, when they land their fish, they will be photographed
while holding it before releasing it back into the water body.

Of course, that would be frowned upon back in the villages where we come from as fishing is supposed to result in you bringing some relish back home for people
to eat.

Back to the ‘Catch and Release Show’.

The show is simply an exercise in which politicians, most of them thieves anyway, will arrest one of their own for purposes of appearing to be fighting

The gullible will celebrate that something is finally being done about corruption, which has destroyed the country and has been committed by the same group of
people since 1980.

The whole idea is to keep Zimbabweans glued to the unfolding soap opera and forget about the collapse of just about everything from lack of electricity, lack
of clean water, bread shortages, poor roads or no roads at all, cash shortages and lack of passport paper to produce passports.

The ‘catch and release anti-corruption show’ is, simply put, a reality show designed to take our focus from the real thieves and corrupt people in Zimbabwe.

It is like one of those Gideon Gono classics in which he announced that old coins from the past were still legal tender.

That sent Zimbabweans into a frenzy as they scavenged from land fills and their rural homes for the old coins for a while with the country continuing to burn.
And for now, until they arrest the real thieves, we will just dismiss the stunts as nothing but part of an unfolding soap opera.

As someone noted, it must be a strange feeling when a thief is arrested by murderers for breaking the law.

Why should we pay to NSSA?

Now that we all know that the National Social Security Authority (NSSA) is a lucrative platform or vehicle for looting, Zimbabweans need to ask the question
why they should continue to make contributions to the organisation.

If politicians and those in charge are going to loot public funds and not be held accountable for their excesses, then serious questions now have to be asked
on why Zimbabweans should be throwing their hard earned money in a bottomless pit.

Maybe it is time someone took the case to the constitutional court on the constitutionality of contributing money to an organisation that clearly has no
respect for its clients’ money based on the recent audit report.

Two stakeholders from H-Metro

The H-Metro gave us an interesting interpretation of what the word stakeholders means among those comrades.

In a bid to portray Cyclone Auxillia as some form of  Mother Theresa or Florence Nightingale, the colleagues have clearly gone overboard in trying to make an
angel out of our cyclone.

There must be good allowances and other benefits that come with being Auxillia’s town criers.

How is it that comrades based in Harare travel all the way to other parts of the country where state media is represented and cover Auxillia as if the bureaus
cannot write that someone donated cooking oil.

Not that she is known for making earth shattering statements. Unless of course she storms NatPharm in typical cyclone style. So the question remains, why media
personnel attach themselves to an individual to the point of being their personal correspondents.
As a result of this capture, we were all intrigued by a headline in the H-Metro boldly declaring that stakeholders had applauded Auxillia for her interventions
in the fight against HIV.

Upon reading the story, we were disappointed to learn that the “stakeholders” were some bishop at an apostolic sect and a youth from Epworth!

Berita Khumalo is ours

A report in The Horrid about the Zimntulikazi music show was very revealing about the levels of competence and knowledge in that stable.

The newspaper appeared blissfully unaware that Berita Khumalo is originally Zimbabwean.

The newspaper appeared very surprised that she could even speak some Shona words.

Well, when you originally come from Zhombe or any part of Zimbabwe, your ability to say a few Shona words can hardly be regarded as earth shattering, can it?

But the scandal was in not knowing that Berita moved from Zimbabwe to New Zealand and later South Africa.

Deals and even more useless deals!

I am sure we all saw that Zimbabwe and Tanzania have “bolstered” their relations through the signing of several economic agreements during the Eighth Session
of the Joint Permanent Commission on Cooperation, whatever that is.

There were equally more useless agreements signed with Namibia, which are designed to achieve nothing. Will somebody please make a follow up and find out why a
lot of noise is made about useless events such as the signing of those useless agreements which never improve the lives of Zimbabweans.

While we are still at it, what happened to the agreement signed by Cain Mathema and ED in Zambia about rehabilitating war graves?
Chamisa to lead from the back

At first, the excitable Comrade Chamisa and his equally excitable colleagues such as Hwende were talking of leading peaceful demonstrations across the country.

Matemadanda and Oppah recklessly spoke about deploying the army, which is a scandal, that has already attracted the interest of the British and Americans.
Next, the little man who hero worships Gushungo was changing his statements.

The people could appreciate their own problems without his input, or something like that, he was reported as saying.

Cold feet?

Gushungo Chete Chete!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Stories you will enjoy

Recommended reading