Greed has united our legislators

Obituaries
Let me start by wishing you a Happy Heroes Day and Defence Forces Day.

Letter to my people BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My dear people.

Let me start by wishing you a Happy Heroes Day and Defence Forces Day. Of course, there is no doubt that there is nothing to be happy about or to celebrate. In the name of austerity for prosperity, some political gangsters have decided to make life for Zimbabweans hell on earth.

Some ministers are keeping hordes of cash in US dollars in their houses!

Talk of hypocrisy of the highest order.

Sadly, the real heroes of our country, some of whom were never even formally honoured with any status, will feel let down by the current crop of clueless clowns.

The kind of clowns who celebrate that they have surplus money when the country is in darkness due to failure to pay for electricity imports.

How can you have a surplus when your hospitals don’t have medication and when the doctors are using condoms as gloves?

Surplus when some roads in urban areas have become impassable?

Surplus when some people are projecting that instead of having become a middle-income country by 2030, Harare will be attaining rural status by then?

Surplus when the country cannot import paper to produce passports?

Surplus when government employees are underpaid?

The questions that we can ask this incompetent lot are just too many and they can’t answer them.

Of course, we will all be hoping that going forward, Zimbabweans will commemorate Defence Forces Day knowing that their forces are there to protect and not harm them.

And that they will not fire volleys of bullets at them as happened in July last year and in January.

As the ghetto youths are fond of saying: Waiziya? (You know what I mean)

MPs and the gravy train

It has been quite revealing to understand the calibre of Members of Parliament that we have, including those from the party of excellence.

Their insatiable thirst for luxury and expensive things has been jaw-dropping.

We have noted their desire for expensive vehicles and their failure to make symbolic gestures that such vehicles should be turned into ambulances or to opt for cheaper cars.

Zimbabweans last week collectively watched in horror when information started filtering through that the government had buckled to pressure from MPs to provide them with diplomatic passports.

Many could not understand how a government that is currently producing 50 passports a week can take time out to indulge its pampered politicians.

The MPs are failing to push government to ensure that ordinary people that they represent can get basic documents such as passports and other national identity documents.

In other words, observed someone, the MPs are in the august House to advance their own petty, personal interests.

(Wait for the scandals around those passports to start unfolding.)

MPigs in Parliament, someone protested on social media.

You cannot fault the MPs for not trying very hard to take care of their own welfare.

One would be forgiven for thinking these people are operating in a functional country, which we obviously are not.

Their impeccable track record since getting into Parliament has included demands for three-course meals, diplomatic passports, access to golf courses, gymnasium fees, ice-cream, more allowances and luxury Land Cruisers.

At this rate, they should form a trade union to represent them because we anticipate that like war veterans, they will keep making endless demands on the hapless people of Zimbabwe.

Meanwhile, as in Animal Farm, the people are now confused when they look at Zanu PF and their MDC Alliance rivals.

Differences between the two parties are fast disappearing, observe the confused people.

Of the two, which are the democrats, which is the party of excellence?

Which party is well-known for looting and pillaging? Very confusing question, the people say.

For they say all the corrupt politicians from either political formation have their snouts and trotters in the feeding trough.

Meanwhile, in all the diplomatic passport scandal, Zanu PF will be smiling smugly.

Because MDCA MPs have fallen neatly into their trap.

With all MPs set to receive the passports, Nero, who is not an MP, will not get one although he would have wanted to have one.

This will naturally drive a wedge between him and his lieutenants.

And he may demand that they should not accept the passports, an instruction likely to be ignored.

While some of those political novices were celebrating the diplomatic passport victory, the politically savvy were watching in fascination as the opposition all but agreed to frolic in the mud while hoping to remain clean.

After the luxury vehicle and diplomatic passport demands, many people were heard observing that they were beginning to doubt the sincerity and authenticity of “those lawyers” in ridding Zimbabwe of corruption.

After all, somebody added, are MDC Alliance lawyers not the ones representing Zanu PF stalwarts accused of corruption?

Son-in-law in climbdown

We are really enjoying how the first-son-in-law is doing a major climbdown on the Zimbabwe Cricket scandal, which he has caused to the detriment of sportsmen and women in Zimbabwe.

In the process, he has deprived many people of life-changing opportunities by stampeding into delicate global sporting issues involving cricket.

It’s always a recipe for disaster when a president, his wife, sons-in-law and other relatives want to be in everyone’s space.

Like how Auxillia now wants to wade into the issues of a national dress.

Pluuuuurze!

Message from Gushungo

After embarrassing Gushungo in 2017, the Lacoste gang has been hoping for his endorsement to no avail.

The message that he may not want to be buried at Heroes Acre will have come as a huge blow to some.

You can never know what the wily Gushungo is planning. There may be more surprises coming!

Gushungo Chete Chete!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)