gracetidings:with dr doug mamvura
Satan steals the Word of God in our lives through unforgiveness.
Resentment and bitterness are also a form of unforgiveness. God wants us to have hearts that are free from unforgiveness.
We don’t just need God’s forgiveness in our lives, but we also need forgiveness from the people we have wronged. We need to be quick to forgive and not harbour any bitterness or anger in our hearts if we are to close the door to Satan.
I would like us to walk through this journey of forgiveness together because most of us are still harbouring bitterness, resentment and anger in our hearts for one reason or another. This is ungodly.
In Ephesians 4: 29-32, the Bible states that “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you”.
Bitterness, wrath, and anger are related to each other and at times may be so interdependent that they are hard to distinguish from each other. Bitterness is the mildest of these three words. It could describe just resentment toward another person. Bitterness does not have to be expressed. Wrath is describing a violent anger, or rage, that is expressed. Anger, like bitterness, can be concealed; it does not have to be expressed.
Anytime you have the intention to hurt someone that is malice. Just as God has forgiven us, we ought to forgive one another. Most of us we believe we have an anger problem. The truth is that it is not an anger problem. It means we have an unforgiveness problem. Similarly, you don’t have a resentment or bitterness problem. You have an unforgiving problem. The moment you forgive, you will find out that anger, bitterness, resentment and malice will become foreign in your life.
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Therefore, we have to learn to forgive one another. This is the only way we can demonstrate our love for one another. We need to be quick to forgive one another because this is how Satan holds us hostage. “For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ, lest Satan should take advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices” (2 Corinthians 2 :10-11).
Paul was stating that unforgiveness is one of the major ways that the devil gets an advantage over us. The word “advantage” carries the idea of one who would be in a relatively favourable or superior position.
Why do we not forgive? The irony is that most of us know that it is required of us as Christians to forgive one another and yet we don’t forgive. I have heard people say “I will never forgive them for what they did to me”. You could be one of such people as you read this article. Many people think it doesn’t matter and they keep carrying anger, bitterness, grudges and resentment.
However, I believe that one of the reasons people don’t forgive, is because they don’t know how. I have seen as I have tried to help friends resolve some of their issues, they didn’t realise how much unforgiveness they were carrying in their hearts.
It is important for us to appreciate what forgiveness is not as we try to resolve the issue of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not the compromise of morals. Some people will say: “If I forgive them, they will think that what they did was Okay”. Why are you telling me to forgive that uncle who molested me when I was young? How can I forgive that man who murdered my father? They will think that what they did was right”. These are some of the comments that people who have been wronged make. I beseech you my brother or sister never to think like that. When God forgave you and I, He never compromised His righteousness. He never said, “You don’t have to worry your sins were not that bad. Sin is sin and yet He forgave you and I and that doesn’t mean that He compromised. God had to take all His wrath on Jesus. Jesus was the one who had to suffer for you and I to be born again. When God forgave me, He didn’t compromise nor redefine my sin. He forgave me because He is a merciful God not because He wanted to compromise.
Forgiveness is not a violation of justice. Some people may think, “If I forgive them, then they are getting away with injustice. If I forgive them, they are getting away with murder.” I am sure you and I have met such people if we are not those people who behave like that. We argue that these people deserve to be punished as we try to justify our unforgiveness. We demand payment out of someone in the name of justice. I must confess that I have been there before. I remember when I was defrauded by two fraudsters, I was so upset that I wanted them to get the worst penalty one could ever get because I was very bitter as a result of what they had done to me. However, I thank God, that bitterness has now gone away.
The reality is that as we forgive such people, they are not getting away with murder. As I forgive someone and release them of any debt, it is not injustice because when I release them of that debt, I am also releasing them to God for His justice. We will all die one day and we will meet God and so we haven’t gotten away with anything. If that person doesn’t find grace or if they don’t receive Christ, they will spend eternity in the pits of hell. God is just and He is a God of justice. I am justly forgiven, and justly released from my sin because of what Jesus did on the cross.
Furthermore, forgiveness is not conflict avoidance. You hear people say, “I just don’t want to face it”. There are people who think that forgiveness is ignoring the wrongs that someone has done to you. You don’t want to confront it or face it. You don’t want to face people. So, you think forgiveness is conflict avoidance. Nothing could be further from the truth. You think that pain will go away by ignoring it. The truth is that it won’t go away that way. When you harbour, bitterness, anger and resentment in your heart, it will eat you like cancer. You have to forgive to get that out of your heart.
There is a difference between forbearance and forgiveness. Forbearance is the maturity that one has when they are able to love people with weaknesses or faults. In forbearance you can let things go. We need to forbear one another as the Bible encourages us. When you feel hurt you have to also learn to forgive not forbear.
Forgiveness is not trust. The fact that I have forgiven you doesn’t mean I trust you. It’s a process that I will have to start building after I have forgiven you. You can’t expect to be trusted soon after you have committed an offence. Indeed you could be forgiven but that doesn’t mean that you should be trusted instantly.
l Dr Doug Mamvura is a graduate of Charis Bible School. Feedback: [email protected] or Twitter @dougmamvura
