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Zanu PF stole Christmas, New Year

letter to my people:BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My People,
Happy New Year and I know you did not have a Merry Christmas.
In fact, there was no Christmas because it was stolen by Zanu PF.

How can a nation have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year festive period with such grinding poverty affecting almost the entire populace?

Those who had a Merry Christmas are the ruling class thieves, who continue to steal, rape and pillage our country’s abundant natural resources.

Surely how could people be expected to celebrate the festive season with no money while food prices had shot through the roof?

Most of those who are into trade are the same ruling class fat cats, who continue to charge extortionate prices.

Even for the rural voters, who were supposed to receive free rice from the government, some local Members of Parliament were reported to have repackaged the commodity and sold it at very high prices to the rural voters.

The same voters will be asked to vote for the same thieves again come 2023.

Eish! That just proves that to some people in Zanu, the rural voter is only important for garnering votes.

After voting, the voter is on their own quite literally.

Eat vegetables

ED Lacoste must be one of the most insensitive people in this country.

If not that, then he is just an innocent simpleton who does not understand the implications of his statements.

Former US vice-president Dan Quayle comes to mind as does former president George W Bush, who made a lot of what Americans called “dumb statements”.

Lacoste must be a nightmare to his minders and speech writers.

After spending time writing a speech that would focus on real issues and crafted in such a way as not to attract derisive comments, it must always come as something of a nightmare seeing him abandon his prepared speech and try to speak off the cuff.

That is obviously a very futile exercise as only the late and great Robert Gabriel Mugabe was capable of that.

Mugabe was well aware of the implications of his statements and so what he delivered was always measured.

Does ED Lacoste realise that every time he and his boss, Jenerari, open their mouths they provide material for our comedians and other Zimbabweans to lampoon them?

The other VP is never subjected to such scrutiny as he always keeps his mouth shut.

ED’s latest boob was an admission that if he knew that the people of Kuwadzana were responsible for the current drought, he would have instructed the military to surround the area and beat up the people!

People may try to sanitise the statement and say it was clothed in humour or banter, but you don’t joke about the deployment of soldiers, who only last year shot dead several people and wounded or tortured others.

Both ED and soldiers have been accused of massacres in the Midlands and Matabeleland provinces in the 1980s.

So how could he not have seen that his language was inappropriate in Harare which is still reeling from the after effects of the shooting to death of citizens, which resulted in the setting-up of the Motlanthe Commission?

Anyway, we now know whose mind is inclined to deploying soldiers to beat up civilians for something as mundane as witchcraft or superstition.

With the prepared speech abandoned, ED was launching himself into unfamiliar terrain, trying to tell protein-starved Zimbabweans on the importance of eating vegetables ahead of meat.

He failed to connect with the urban person by not being aware that meat has been priced beyond their reach.

His statement could have been viewed in the “let them eat cake” realm.

Others could have seen it as some arrogant and condescending attitude given that Zimbabweans consume a lot of meat.

Given that beef was one of our largest exports and Zimbabwean meat is coveted across the world, Zimbos love their meat, which is why the most popular outdoor areas are braaing joints.

And then you tell such people to eat tsunga and covo and rape.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with encouraging Zimbabweans to eat vegetables for health benefits.

Maybe the problem was that it was said by a person people believed was insincere.

For he has been spotted eating cow hooves (mazondo) while relaxing in a very expensive private jet.

We would not want to believe he was eating the hooves after eating the rest of the cow carcass.

ED should also be politically savvy on how to engage urban voters.

He should not speak to them as if he is talking to Zanu PF supporters because urbanites will ask hard questions.

Protection of MaShurugwi homeboys

The Lacoste government has finally woken up from their slumber.

That is in the area of the gold panners that they created across the country.

We notice arrests have been made in Mashonaland Central and Mashonaland West.

There is anticipation that arrests will spread to other parts of the country — such as the Midlands.
If that does not happen, then people may start talking.
They may even suggest the president is protecting his gold panners from his province.

People!
Grace Ntombizodwa woyeee!
Chatunga Chete Chete!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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